Page 72 of Sheltered
“Just like that? You don’t even have to think about it?” I questioned him, my tone playful. Even though it seemed I wasn’t simply accepting his answer, the truth was that relief swept through me.
Blaze didn’t hesitate to remind me, “I already told you I’ll always be willing to do that for you.”
I gave him another kiss. “I was desperately hoping you’d agree to stay with me tonight.”
It didn’t take me long to recognize that I wasn’t exactly doing a great job of indicating my plan for the evening with Blaze, because he didn’t seem to be catching on to what I hoped would be in store for us.
Maybe I needed to be more direct.
So, I finally blurted, “I’m ready.”
“For bed?”
I shook my head. When Blaze’s brows drew together and the confusion washed over his expression, I clarified, “I’m ready for us to take that next step.”
Confusion turned to shock and surprise as Blaze’s body went rigid. He studied me a long time, not saying a single word, and clearly trying to discern whether he’d misunderstood what I’d said.
My belly was trembling with anticipation. Until that moment, I hadn’t considered the possibility Blaze wouldn’t want to take me up on what I was offering. The chance of rejection was suddenly staring me down, and what worried me the most was that if Blaze didn’t accept this, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to take the reins and ask for it again.
Finally, after what felt like hours of agonizing waiting, Blaze asked, “Are you serious?”
“I am,” I confirmed. “I would never joke about something like this.”
He nodded slowly and swallowed hard. “Are you sure this is what you want? Are you sure you’re ready?”
I didn’t think it was possible to be any surer than I already was. No matter what happened, I was convinced Blaze was the man I was meant to have it with. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately along with the way I feel about you, and I’m positive this is what I want with you.”
Blaze stared at me in silence for a few more beats before he twisted his neck to look behind him and confirm he’d locked the front door. Then he returned his attention to me and said, “This feels a bit surreal.”
“But does it feel good?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“It blows my mind that you could possibly believe I’d ever think anything I experience with you is anything but spectacular.”
That seemed to do the trick. Blaze was no longer interested in questioning the words coming out of my mouth and had taken them at face value, because the next thing I knew, he lifted me up, my legs instinctively wrapping around his waist, and he was climbing the stairs.
The higher he climbed, the more the anticipation built. My insides were trembling, but I loved it. I loved the way everything that involved Blaze felt exciting. It was what I had always anticipated a relationship being like before I’d gotten into one. Or, even if I hadn’t expected it would be like this, it was certainly what I had hoped for, and I was smart enough to understand just how fortunate I was to get it.
I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect once we made it to my bedroom—I was hoping Blaze would understand I needed him to take the lead—but what happened certainly wasn’t something I’d been prepared for.
Blaze continued to hold me firmly in his arms, like he never wanted to let me go. He stood beside my bed, his eyes boring into mine. It felt like an attempt to communicate something, but I couldn’t work out what it was.
He did it for so long, I grew concerned. “Boss, what is it?”
“Before we do this, there’s something I need to tell you,” he replied.
My throat closed up at the same time my belly dropped. What could he possibly have to tell me? Had he been keeping secrets?
“What?” I whispered.
“You need to know the truth, baby,” he started. “This is a big deal, a big step for you, and I think that before you take it, you have the right to know how the man you’re doing it with feels about you.”
His voice was so gentle, so sweet. It was hard to believe he could be sharing bad news with me. I relaxed, but only slightly.
And following a brief moment of hesitation, Blaze shared, “What you’ve offered to give to me tonight isn’t something I take lightly. It matters to me, and I’m honored you think I’m a man worthy of such a precious gift. And I just want you to know before we take this step that you’re doing it with someone who loves you.”
Tears filled my eyes. I hadn’t expected there’d be a way for Blaze to make me feel any more confident about my choice to have this with him, but he’d done just that. “Really?” I rasped.
With a slight downward jerk of his chin, he confirmed he hadn’t been joking.