Page 56 of House of Lies

“Happy fucking birthday!”

I pull the trigger without remorse. There’s no emotional response. He’s just gone, and that’s it. I crouch, pressing the backs of my palms against my temples. I don’t have time for my thoughts to crumble the earth beneath me. I need to decide if I will kill Ludovic as I intended. So many things don’t make sense right now. There isn’t enough time to unravel them and find answers to the questions flooding my mind. I stand up and look at Ermanno’s lifeless body. There’s a pool of blood on his desk, spilling onto everything.

I take a step back, my heart pounding in my chest. I need to get out of here before someone sees me. I call Domenico, exiting through the office door that leads to the garden.

This has turned into a shit show rather quickly.

CHAPTER 33

Caelia

Mattia’s anger radiates through the air, evident in his vice-like grip on my hand, which threatens to leave bruises. For once, I choose to remain silent. He drags me after him, opens the door on the passenger side of the car, and urges me forward. We left in a hurry. I was talking with Domenico about Ludovic’s latest contests when he got a call. His mood changed suddenly, and he dragged me toward the exit where Mattia was waiting. Domenico has been left behind, and we’re heading God knows where.

The silence inside the car feels suffocating, giving me a moment to contemplate my next move. Mattia’s hands clench the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turn white. I sense that if I say anything, he will explode. So, I keep my thoughts to myself.

This might be my only chance. I may not have another opportunity to be alone with Mattia soon.

I watch him closely, trying to commit him to memory. I know what I must do, but it doesn’t come easily, despite everything he has done to me. His beautiful eyes are focused on the road, his sharp jaw twitches, and his teeth are clenched. And he’s still attractive. I didn’t want to watch him in the eyes as he fucked me last night. Because what I felt when I woke up in the middle of the night and he was there wasn’t fright. I was relieved to see him. And I didn’t feel repulsed when he forced me to undress and kneel.

But he will always abuse the power he has over me. He will always be my captor, forcing and violating me whenever he pleases.

We could have been something extraordinary together. I caught glimpses of the man he could be over the past few months. That’s the man I could have built a life with. We could have had a marriage, a home, children, and pets—the white picket fence dream. I could have learned to accept who he is and what he does. I acknowledge these thoughts because I am close to the freedom I yearn for. He feels more in control when he keeps me caged, stripping me of my identity and taking everything from me.

“What’s wrong, Wildfire?”

Everything is wrong.

I’m piecing together your shattered pieces.

The irony is that he could have if I had let him. I’ve felt it countless times over the past months, in every word, every smile, and every touch. But he’s the one who shattered me in the first place. That’s something I can never forgive.

“Nothing.” After all, I am his Queen of Lies. “I was wondering where we’re going.”

“We’re going on a little trip together.”

No, we’re not. I won’t wait to see what other surprises he has in store. I have experienced a lifetime of pain and uncertainty. It ends tonight.

I know I have to do it, but I can’t bring myself to just yet. It will be over. And he has a piece of my heart that I never intended to give. I’ll have to confront all my truths tonight to go through with this. One of those truths is that I love a part of him. I will never be able to let go of that part. I despise myself for it.

I pat my thigh, ensuring the knife is in its place, secured in the garter. Both Domenico and Mattia were careless tonight. Neither bothered to check me for weapons when I left the house. I had the knife with me at the charity ball, and I hid it in the penthouse that night.

Just do it.

But it’s not that simple. I’ve contemplated this for months, dreamed about it, and fantasized about it. But then Mattia had to go and ruin everything. He made me care for him and love a part of him. How will I ever reclaim that? I remember everything—the abuse that fuels me forward and his tenderness that causes me to hesitate.

He speeds down the open road ahead of us. I have no idea where we are, and that thought alone is terrifying. But I won’t let it be an excuse to comply with this life. Slowly lifting my dress, I gaze at him one last time, tears streaming down my cheeks. I only have a second before he realizes I’m up to something. Nausea rises in my throat. My stomach churns. My heart isn’t truly in this.

You’re stronger than your abuser, Caelia.

No, not at this moment. He notices it a second too late as I grasp the handle of his Russian knife. It’s a peculiar choice of weapon for a man like Mattia. He knew I had it with me, yet he never asked for its return. My hand trembles uncontrollably as I stab him on the right side of his ribs. I should have aimed for his heart, but I’ll settle for this. Mattia loses control of the car, slamming on the brakes in an attempt to stop. But his efforts are in vain. We swerve off the road and collide with a tree. The impact sends us both hurtling forward, the airbags deflating. I hit my head against the dashboard. Dizziness engulfs me. Rubbing my temple, my fingers become stained with blood. My throat is dry. I have cuts and bruises, but Mattia’s head slumps back against the seat, eyes closed, an open wound on his forehead. A relentless wave of panic washes over me. Did I kill him? Did the crash kill him? He can’t be dead. And I wish I could stay with him. I wish I could call an ambulance for him. But what then? He will kill me. Love is not enough to protect me from his wrath. Leaning closer to him, I check his pulse. It’s faint, but it’s there.

“Here’s another lie for you,” I whisper. “I hate you.”

Unbuckling my seatbelt, I open the door. The front of the car is mangled, and smoke is billowing from the engine. The hood is crumpled beyond recognition.

I will never learn from my stupid mistakes. I stop and think about this. I face another truth. I don’t want him dead. I know that if he lives, he will hunt me down like an animal. He will put a bullet in my head. But I can’t leave him like this. I want to slap myself for how stupid I am. Opening the driver’s seat, I look in his pockets for his phone. I find it in his slacks. I don’t dare to stare at him. God knows what other foolish decisions I will make if I do. Taking the phone, I call Dom. He picks up on the second ring.

“Sir?”