Page 65 of House of Lies
I’m piecing together your shattered pieces.
If only I could laugh, but nothing is amusing anymore. I can’t see any glimmer of light at the end of this dark tunnel. I don’t even wish to see him dead. I just want to be dead. There are no windows in this warehouse. I am constantly shrouded in darkness, except for the blinding light of the bulb that burns my eyes whenever he visits. There is so much hatred in his eyes that it shatters my heart. It pierces through my very soul. He has become a stranger to me, and this realization tears at my heart more than anything else. I allowed him to hold me in his arms. I let him whisper lies in my ear. In the end, I fell for his deceit. It used to be easier. Perhaps. It’s hard to say. I didn’t love him back then; he never locked me in a cage. Many things have changed now. He remains the villain of my story, but he has become even more monstrous.
The sound of the door opening causes my body to tremble. There is no place for me to hide, so I remain still. I must endure it all. The earth won’t split open to swallow me whole. Though my sanity remains intact, it’s hanging by a thread. I have tried to maintain my sanity by conjugating verbs in various languages, engaging in imaginary conversations inside my head, and dreaming of being anywhere but here. Ironically, even in those dreams, I end up in his arms—the arms of the man he pretended to be for so many months. The footsteps draw nearer. I lie motionless, preparing myself for the onslaught. He’s either here to unleash more hatred upon me or to send his brother to rape me once again. I lost count of how many times it has happened. I am repulsive, yet Ludovic’s lust remains undeterred. Not even the stench repels him. He unlocks the cage.
“How’s my favorite whore?”
Mattia.
He drags me out by my feet. He won’t enter the cage, and I won’t come out. I refuse to ask why he is doing this to me. I take it as a punishment for my failed attempt to kill him. He mentioned nothing about the accident or about me stabbing him. Nothing. I wonder how long he is going to drag this out. Is he waiting for me to die?
“The world believes you’re dead. Kazimir Mordvinov killed my father and my wife on the same night. No one is looking for you. No one will come to save you.”
I have no idea who the fuck Kazimir Mordvinov is. God only knows what kind of mess his father dragged him into. Is his father dead? Is that what he said? I don’t care enough to ask. I’m in too much pain to think straight.
“Did you think you’d never see me again? Did you enjoy fucking him?”
The light bulb flickers in the distance. Am I losing my mind, or has Mattia lost his? The words make no sense to me, yet I struggle to reply and choke instead.
“Six fucking months,” he says, gritting his teeth and spitting on my broken body. “I’ve envisioned your death a thousand times, but not before giving you what you deserve. You’re my wife. My treacherous whore.”
“Have you lost your mind?”
“You didn’t know who he was?” He mutters to himself.
I’m not concealing anything from him. He can read my every emotion. Maintaining a façade requires energy I no longer possess, and I have nothing to hide. Eventually, he will claim my life. The only thing left to discover is how.
“Answer me!” he bellows, causing me to flinch.
“You didn’t ask me anything,” I remind him.
I will fight him until my last breath.
“You stupid cunt!” I cry out in pain as his foot strikes me. “Do you know who Kazimir is?”
“No, I don’t.”
There is a vast black void where my soul once lived.
“Don’t you fucking lie to me!” Another blow lands on me.
“I’m not.”
“Guess who’s here to see you?”
I hear more footsteps approaching. I shut my one good eye tightly. I refuse to witness what’s coming. I will be forced to feel it, regardless of what I want. This is no longer the man I spent the past few months of my life with. I no longer recognize this monster. Nor does he resemble the man he used to be. There is something dark and twisted within him that I have never witnessed. It terrifies me. I retreat to a safe place inside my mind, the only refuge I have to prevent my sanity from shattering completely as Mattia watches Ludovic rape me. It’s all I can do to drown out the sound of his laughter in the background. He watches me constantly these days. He has made it clear that he will never touch my soiled body again, yet he has no qualms about watching Ludovic. Nor does he hesitate to strike me.
Though I may be dead to the world, I am still here. I am still breathing. I cannot say for how long I can continue fighting, but I refuse to grant him the satisfaction of witnessing my complete breakdown. It is only my body he possesses. Ludovic may force his flesh upon me, tear me apart, but he will never touch my soul with his dirty hands. I have surpassed the point of screaming. My pain turns Mattia on.
As I fade into unconsciousness, my final thought is that no one is searching for me.
CHAPTER 43
Kaz
“I don’t have much patience left, Fiona. I had little to begin with, so you’d better start talking.”
Our last encounter didn’t go exactly well. I now see things clearly, understanding the truth for what it truly is. She will make the same choice she did all those years ago. She will choose Mattia over me. Despite having my men keep a watchful eye on her and Ludovic, he managed to slip past them and is nowhere to be found. Perhaps Mattia and Ludovic deemed her safety inconsequential, or maybe they believed I couldn’t bring myself to kill my mother.