Page 80 of House of Lies
“Where will you go?”
“Domenico and my men are looking for the sniper. I’ll be with them.”
He explained why he pretended to be Mattia, but our intimacy didn’t run so deep. I don’t know what he’s feeling, how he thinks, or why he does what he does. I bite my tongue to prevent myself from saying something foolish, like how I don’t want us to split or how I feel safer when he is around. He opens the emergency exit door leading to the stairs. Vanya awaits us there.
“Take her and go. Now!” Kaz draws his gun and peers through the small window on the door. “We’re being followed. Just go.” He releases my hand and shoves me aside just as a bullet shatters the window. I startle.
Vanya says something in Russian. His jaw is tense, and his eyes are narrowed. He still intimidates me, but less so when Kaz stands beside him. Kaz doesn’t seem pleased with whatever his cousin is saying. They exchange words back and forth, but I can’t comprehend any of it.
I saw so many faces of him in our time together that he doesn’t frighten me as much anymore, but I don’t know his cousin. I don’t know his men. I always forget how terrifying they can be. Vanya pays no attention to me. His expression is stern. I’m unsure if he dislikes me because of my initial reaction or because Kaz insisted on saving my life. Before I can comprehend what is happening, he grabs my wrist and pulls me along.
“Aren’t you going to stay and help him?”
He doesn’t respond, and I fear he might push me down the stairs if I ask anything else.
CHAPTER 53
Kaz
I can’t let them go after Caelia. My uncle must have altered his plan, targeting her now as well. It will be his final mistake. I should have returned to Russia by now. I need to see Dedushka and explain what the hell is happening. He won’t approve of the path I chose. Sevastyan insisted on keeping these plans a secret from him, and now I understand why. Dedushka might hold some answers, and I have been foolish not to seek him out sooner. He’s the revered leader everyone fears, and our interactions have been scarce over the past months, aside from one conversation before I returned to New York. I asked him for a hidden safe house.
Firing openly in a crowded hospital is not an option. People are already panicking, and I must get out before the police arrive. One of my men is erasing all evidence of my presence from the security footage. Caelia has offered nothing to the hospital or the police, consistently claiming amnesia and ignorance about her identity or what transpired.
I have no clue how many people are hunting me or Caelia right now. I’ll just have to take them out once she is safe again. I’m not running anywhere. I’ll remain where I am, waiting for the man who followed us. As soon as he opens the door, I aim my gun through the empty window space and fire. It’s a shoot now, ask questions later scenario. No remorse or guilt fills me. I’m simply doing what needs to be done. More screams and shouts follow. I hear footsteps ascending the stairs, so I head in that direction. Running won’t stop them from coming after me later.
It feels like hours since the shot was fired through the window, narrowly missing Caelia. Three figures emerge, walking down the stairs three flights up. Leaning over the banister, they point their guns directly at me. I take a deep breath, steadying myself for the imminent clash. My fingers grip the cool metal of the gun, and my hand is steady and composed. I pull the trigger, missing my target as the men dodge out of the way. They return fire, their shots missing me as I sprint up the stairs. It feels like a suicide mission, especially when I hear footsteps echoing behind me. Glancing over my shoulder, I see Dmitri.
“It took you long enough.”
“Sorry, sir. I had to clear the way.”
He leans against the wall near me, patiently awaiting for the men’s reappearance.
No one will ever harm Caelia again.
CHAPTER 54
Caelia
“What the hell is wrong with you? Are you serious?” I exclaim, though I am ignored.
Vanya had already handcuffed me to the inside panel of the car door before I could guess what he was thinking about. I didn’t have a chance to apologize to him for my reaction the first time I saw him. Since then, he has been avoiding me at all costs, always calling Kaz, even if he’s just outside the door. Avoiding my sight has become his mission, and it’s been maddening.
“Seriously?” I pull at my hand, but it’s pointless. Vanya presses down on the gas pedal, driving us God knows where. He sneaks quickly into the traffic. He replies with something, but he does it in Russian.
“I don’t speak Russian.” My voice is annoyed. He shrugs, keeping his eyes fixed on the road. “We shouldn’t have left Kaz behind.” I don’t know if he understands me or not. “I might not be useful right now, but you could have been. We should have stayed.”
I divert my gaze to the window, looking at the buildings we pass by. I wrap my free arm around myself, unable to ignore the pit in my stomach. I don’t want him to die, not at all. There’s still a piece of my heart that remains unbroken, and it beats for him despite his threats, his desire to possess me, and everything else.
“I told him to leave,” I whisper, my voice trembling. “He’s at war, and he was vulnerable staying there with me in that dreadful room.” I swallow hard. “He’ll be fine, right? Nothing will happen to him.” Vanya remains silent, but the lack of response doesn’t surprise me. “Listen.” I turn toward him, gathering the courage to speak. “I’m sorry for my reaction when I first saw you.” His expression remains impassive, and it’s unsettling. “It had nothing to do with you and everything to do with what I’ve been through. I truly apologize for panicking like that.”
I still can’t tell if he wants to harm me or not. I prefer to believe he won’t. Helpless and handcuffed to the door, I have no means of escape. My only solace lies in Kaz and the hope that, despite recent events, he won’t allow anyone else to hurt me. Perhaps Vanya doesn’t understand a single word I’m saying. All I’ve ever heard him speak is Russian. And maybe he does understand. It doesn’t matter. I’ve been confined in that room for far too long, alone with my thoughts.
“I refused to tell him what happened, and now he has stopped talking to me, you know? And it’s stupid, and I shouldn’t, but I miss him.” I have to tell someone, and he’s here. It could’ve been anyone else, but it’s him, and that will have to do. “I feel like my stupid heart will explode if anything happens to him, just because he was too stubborn and refused to leave me behind. I’m not useful to him. I know nothing about Mattia’s business. Where are we going?” Silence follows. I can handle that. “Nothing good will come from telling him what happened to me. He doesn’t need to know.” Vanya mumbles something I don’t understand. “You probably told me to shut up, but I’ll keep talking. Don’t mind me.” I took a moment to collect my thoughts. “He doesn’t need to know how Mattia watched as Ludovic raped me, leaving me wishing for death again and again. I can’t burden him with this.”
It’s my first time admitting this, and Vanya probably doesn’t understand what I’m saying. His eyes remain fixed on the road, his features tense, but they’ve been that way since I met him.
“He should move on. I have nothing to offer him. There’s nothing left of me.” I admit something that has only lived in my mind so far. “You know what the worst part is? I don’t know if any of it was real or not. I can’t tell if he was playing a role or if any of it meant something to him. And worse yet, I don’t know what I would do with the answer, regardless of what it may be.”