Page 72 of Forever Always

“I do. He came to the bar last night and we had a long talk.”

Becks then told me about everything Wes had told him and explained how he’d gotten his number if I wanted to speak to him. I was a little annoyed that Becks handled that on his own, but who was I to get mad about that? I literally did the same thing to him when I went to the shelter. We took care of each other, sometimes in ways that were invasive and probably too much, but yeah, it was what it was.

I didn’t know what to make of the conversation, though, or of Wesley Hayes. I knew I should probably give him the benefit of the doubt. It seemed Wesley really had no idea that I existed. I couldn’t be pissed at him for abandoning me if he didn’t know, right? Still, the anger was there, irrational or not, and I didn’t know how to let it go, at least not yet.

“I’m not sure if I want to speak to him. Is that okay?”

Becks kissed my neck and pushed his hips against me. I pushed back. I wished we weren’t wearing underwear. “That’s totally fine. It’s your decision, butterfly. I’ll be here for you no matter what.”

“And he’s stayin’ around here?”

“I think so, at least for a little bit. Said he was a private contractor now but had taken some time off. Don’t know how much.”

That was a problem for later. I’d probably want to speak to him sometime, but right now, I just wanted to lie with Becks and forget everything else.

Eventually, Becks and I got up, threw on sweats, and made our way out of the room. We ate bowls of cereal on the couch and watched shitty TV until it was time for us to get ready for work. Neither of us talked about any of the bullshit goin’ on. We were just . . . there, and it felt fuckin’ awesome.

It was time to get to work. We agreed that we wouldn’t go off on our own if we could avoid it, so Becks went with me to the restaurant and then hitched a ride with a coworker who lived in the area. It was rare he worked overnights at the factory, but it was the shift he was covering for getting off for our date. Jay was going to pick me up and I was gonna borrow the truck to get Beckett when his shift was over. It was a pain in the ass and probably overkill, but I understood the precautions.

We paused before going our separate ways. I stood on my tiptoes, and leaned in for a kiss, relieved when Becks obliged without hesitation.

“Have a good day, butterfly. If you need me for anything or start feelin’ low again, call me. I don’t care that I’m at work or whatever other bullshit. Call. Me.”

I nodded, just relieved that Beckett was giving me an out I didn’t have to feel guilty about. I thought I’d be fine. I was feeling so much better after today. I had no idea what I was gonna do about Wesley, but I didn’t need to decide that immediately.

I started to back away, but Becks stopped me, and kissed me again. “I’ll be fine, Becks.”

“I know you will. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Love you,” I whispered to him before I forced myself to take a step back so we weren’t late.

“Love you too.”

We finally turned away from each other. It was ridiculous how hard that was.

We were grown ass men who’d had to spend a lot of time apart because, you know, work and lives, but every time hurt. Even before this shift in our relationship, I’d always felt like something was missing when Becks wasn’t around, but it had only gotten worse now.

It was this never-ending itch under my skin, wondering if he was okay and safe, if anyone was bothering him or, worse, flirting with him. At least I didn’t have to worry about that last one durin’ his factory shifts. Instead, I just worried about him losing a fuckin’ arm. What the hell did it say about me that losing limbs didn’t scare me as much as some twink flirting with Beckett? I was the only twink that should be flirting with him . . .

I shook the thoughts out of my head before I got murderous. I was being dumb. Becks had never flirted back with anyone, even before we’d gotten together. We had enough problems. I didn’t need to add nonexistent ones to our issues too.

Work went fine. I apologized to my boss for yesterday, which he brushed off, just glad I was feeling better. Nathan was such a cool guy. I kind of wanted to be him when I grew up. Besides the owning a restaurant part. I still didn’t really know what I wanted to do, which was why I was just getting a general studies associate’s for now, but I’d probably kill someone if I had to deal with what he did every day.

I felt light as I walked out of the restaurant after closing. Things had been good today. It had felt so fuckin’ bleak before, like my world was ending. It was crazy how quickly things could change. Besides my lingering headache from the hangover, I felt good and ready to tackle anything.

That feeling lasted the whole way home. I got home just fine and texted Becks that I was good. Jay left me the truck and went home with Dakota. I was still feeling relaxed and happy as I put the leftovers in the fridge and through my shower, and even after when I finally crawled into bed. Usually, I struggled to sleep on my own, but I passed out easily, and only woke when Becks crawled in next to me.

I woke up hungry but refreshed. This was the turning point for us. I could feel it. We’d finally gotten the break we’d desperately needed. Things were going to turn around. I was so fuckin’ sure of it. I didn’t know exactly what had happened yesterday for me to have this 180, but I wasn’t complaining.

I took advantage of my mood and time to myself and cleaned up the apartment a bit. I didn’t even know the last time we’d gotten laundry done, so I dragged my ass down to the basement machines to get our stuff washed. It was ridiculous how expensive these stupid machines were, but it still beat having to drag our stuff to a laundromat out of the building.

While waiting for the machine, I let my thoughts drift, specifically to Wesley. I needed to talk to him; I just wasn’t sure if I was ready for it. Becks believed his story, so I did too, but it didn’t make things easier for me to deal with. Still, I couldn’t brush it off forever. Maybe I’d ask Becks for Wesley’s number. Yeah, I could do that. I could at least add his number to my phone. That wasn’t committing to a relationship or anything. It was just a phone number.

CHAPTER 27

RILEY

“Y’know you don’t have to do this, right?”