Page 8 of Forever Always

“And Cooks? The offer always stands. I might be your boss, but I do care. I’ll always listen.”

Yeah, no thanks. I’d heard that before.

I just nodded, but we both knew I wasn’t gonna ever take him up on that. Still, Tim left. I finished my water and followed him out. I just needed to finish this fuckin’ shift and I could get outta here and see Riley. Once I got eyes on him and saw him for myself, I’d be okay. I could think straight and come up with a plan.

The sound of pots banging loudly greeted me as soon as I entered the apartment, which made me grin. Good. Riley angry cooking’ was a good thing. I’d rather him be pissed than the alternative. I’d pick walking a mile over fuckin’ Lego bricks rather than watching my brother sit on the couch near comatose while he stared at the wall like it had all the answers any day.

Jay was on our broken, secondhand couch playin’ some video game, as he ignored the sounds coming from the kitchen were totally normal. I guessed for us, they were.

“‘Sup, man,” he said as soon as I walked in, not lookin’ up.

I’d met Jay when I was 12 on the worst day of my life. Even worse than when Mom had died. Jay had been the one who’d found me puking my guts up in the school bathroom. He never asked me what was wrong, just sat next to me on the floor of the filthy stall until I’d been steady enough to get up. Turned out his life sucked as bad as mine, and we’d been tight ever since. He was the only person outside of Riley I’d ever trust. Fuck, he knew even more than Ri did.

“How is he?” I asked as I kicked my shoes off. I didn’t get the fuckin’ point. The carpet had been threadbare and one big stain since the day we’d moved in. Why the fuck did I need to take my shoes off when I came in? But Riley insisted, so here I was.

Jay shrugged. “Pissed. But fine from what I can see.”

Another pot banged against the counter loudly. I grinned. That meant he could hear us and was annoyed we were talkin’ about him.

“Thanks, man. I appreciate you doing this.” Jay paused the game and looked at me. He was taller than me but thin as fuck. Even though he got more food now than he did as a kid, he never seemed to be able to keep on weight. His dark hair fell over one eye, which made him look like an emo kid from 2005, but somehow it worked for him.

“Come on, Becks.” Riley had been the one to start calling me Becks. I wasn’t sure why that started or how, but everyone around us just seemed to adapt to it. “You two are like my brothers. You know I’d do anything for you.”

Jay and I had a weird relationship. He was like another brother to us and we were very platonically affectionate. There’d been times that we were so affectionate with each other that other people had thought we were dating. But yeah . . . no. Jay and I together, just no. I’d date Riley before I’d ever get with Jay.

“Okay, I’m gonna head out. I gotta get to work in an hour.” Jay stood up. “Bye, kid!” he shouted in Riley’s direction.

“Go fuck yourself!” Ri hated when Jay called him a kid.

He just laughed and left the apartment, which left me to brave Riley on my own.

I sauntered into the tiny kitchen and leaned against the doorframe. The place was so small that there was barely enough room for one person, let alone both of us. Riley slammed the big ass pot he was holding onto the stove with such force, water sloshed over and onto the surface.

“Hi, butterfly,” I said easily, tryin’ to figure out how he was gonna react.

I watched silently as Riley took a deep, shuddery breath, his shoulders rising and falling before he finally turned to me.

His light-blue eyes, the color of the sky, were bloodshot and filled with unshed tears.

Riley might’ve been five years younger than I was, but he looked even younger than that. It might’ve been how he kept his dark brown hair on the longer side so that it always flopped into his face. Or it might’ve been how he never fully grew into those big blue eyes. Or maybe it was just cause he was still so fuckin’ tiny. I knew he hated it, how everyone still thought of him as a little kid who couldn’t take care of himself. Which was bullshit. He’d gone through more in 20 years than most people did in their whole fuckin’ lives. Just cause he was small didn’t mean he wasn’t strong as fuck. I knew he was capable of takin’ care of himself. I’d made damn sure of it. But it didn’t stop me from wanting to be the one to look after him.

“Beckett,” he whispered, and then I had an armful of my little brother.

“Shh, it’s okay. I gotchu.”

“I’m sorry.” He sobbed into my shoulder.

What the fuck? I pulled away from Riley enough so I could see his face. His head was down, but I was havin’ none of that. I cupped his cheeks, which forced him to meet my eyes.

“What the fuck you sorry for?”

Riley laughed even as I still held onto his cheeks, but I couldn’t see what was so fuckin’ funny.

“God, Becks. You’re so . . .” He waved his hand in an absent gesture and wiggled his face until he was out of my hold. But he didn’t step away. I was still wearing my work jumpsuit and probably smelled like shit, but Riley buried his face in my chest anyway, not bothered by it.

The lump in my throat started to ease with my baby brother so close. I could never breathe right unless he was near. I was always on fuckin’ edge, always ready to lose my shit until I had eyes on Riley. And most of the time, that wasn’t even good enough. I needed him close enough to touch, to know I could protect him.

I blinked at him, as I waited for him to explain. He knew I wasn’t gonna let this go.