Page 53 of Heart of Night
In response, she dips her chin. “Trust me, I only figured it out a few days ago. With you sleeping all the time, it’s quite difficult to get into your head.”
Not that I appreciate anyone being in my head but—“How does this work?”
Beside me, Erina is saying something, his features pinned into an expressionless mask, but I barely notice him, what’s left of my distracted attention directed at Myron while I’m trying to wrap my head around Kaira speaking to me in my head.
Myron is keeping his calm like the millennia-old fairy he is, following Erina’s lead as the king eats his engagement cake while mine remains untouched on the ornate plate before me.
“Magic, I assume.” There is a humor to Kaira’s voice that eases the tension in my chest. Whatever heat had collected in my body has left my limbs and core like water draining from a cracked jar. “Even though you don’t have any magic right now, my minuscule magic seems to be enough to speak to a random human in the middle of a foreign throne room.”
Wait… “So, you don’t speak to anyone you want in your mind? Just me?”
“Just you, dear Wolayna.” Her lips quirk as if in an apology even when I can tell an apology is the last thing on her mind. “Were you going to climb Myron like a tree right in front of everyone, or do you have some common sense?”
I wish the floor would open up and swallow me. It’s embarrassing enough to have the whole room witness the looks Myron and I exchanged, but having someone front row in my mind as I fantasize about all the ways he used his tongue to?—
I cut off my thoughts right here before private memories can replay in my mind.
“Interesting.” Kaira shifts from foot to foot as if standing there for another minute is too much to bear, but her face has smoothed over, no longer hinting at our silent exchange as she lets her gaze drift across the room, lingering on Ephegos for a long moment before continuing to Erina, then Katrijanov. “This is the general who visited Jeseida’s estate a few times.”
“He’s the one Ephegos made the deal with to sell me to Tavras.” The fact no longer hurts. I’ve accepted that I so wildly misjudged someone’s character. It’s time to stop dwelling on that and focus on solutions instead. “Since Erina is using the drug to suppress magic, I assume Katrijanov has been involved in this process as well.”
Kaira doesn’t seem surprised as she responds, “I’ve been spending the past days sneaking around the servant levels of the palace to map escape routes. There will be a moment when we need to run, and I want to be prepared.”
Uncertain of whether I should be touched or skeptical of Kaira’s interest in my freedom, I set my fork to the cake on my plate.
“You’re still spiking my food every day in the kitchen for all that I know. And now you’re in my head without any reasonable explanation. Give me one reason I should trust you.” Because that’s the only question I should be asking.
My fingers find the golden fork once more as I force myself to act normal while I have a fucking Flame in my head. If only that was Myron. That would be helpful.
“Hey, I heard that.” The hurt in Kaira’s tone is brief, and I don’t turn my head to check if her face mirrors it. “And before you continue accusing me of being untrustworthy.”
I lead the fork to the cake and slice into the icing, severing a butterfly’s wings in the process. How symbolic. “I have been sensing your presence since the day you were brought to the estate. It took me a while though to figure out what was going on, and since I don’t trust anyone there, I kept it to myself that I could perceive some stream of consciousness from the most recent prisoner. It wouldn’t have ended well for me to advertise it.”
I barely taste the sweet and creamy bite I shoved into my mouth.
“Ephegos and Jeseida would have found a way to use it to their advantage, and as I mentioned before, I’m not happy with the way he is accumulating power and trying to take the place as Jeseida’s heir. A Crow ruling the Flames…”
Her voice drifts away, and I swallow the piece of cake as if I am going to use my corporeal voice when I merely need my thoughts. “You’ve been hearing me since Ephegos brought me in?” It’s one thing to have a Flame chatter in my head. It’s an entirely different one to find out she’s been listening to my thoughts for weeks.
“Not like now. It was more of a”—she searches for words—“presence. You were an ever-present cloud of being in my mind. Does that sound weird?”
“It would be a lie to say no.” And that’s the politest answer I muster. “You could have told me a bit sooner, don’t you think? With everything going on…”
“With everything going on, it was safest not to tell anyone. I didn’t hear any clear thoughts until the day I found out Ephegos sold you to King Erina. So, I decided to follow you to Meer.” It sounds more like an apology than I care for, and the fact that she kept me in the dark?—
“Since you’re the only one I could hear, I needed to find out what’s going on. I went where you went. I got Ephegos to allow me to see you and bring you the tea with the magic suppressant so I could lay eyes on the woman whose thoughts kept pushing at the edge of my consciousness.” When I glance at her between bites, she amends, “It’s not as if I chose to listen in on you. You are the one projecting your thoughts into my mind.”
“Not that I know how to even do that, I am not projecting anything.” And I’m not sure if this strange connection is a blessing or a curse.
“I’m not sure either. But one thing I know. I’ve been an outcast in the Flame Court for too long. Not enough magical blood to truly count as a Flame, not even to be considered breeding material.” I can feel her cringe at the thought. “If there is someone I’m connected to on such a deep level—unbidden or not—I’m going to follow that person wherever they go, be it right to the grave.”
The determination in her tone takes me more by surprise than the fact that she’s willing to abandon her people for a human prisoner. My gaze falls on Myron, on his smooth features now that he has stopped pissing Erina off on purpose, the bruises marring his beautiful face and a pang of something unfamiliar, yet so powerful it nearly takes my breath away, makes itself known in my chest.
“If you can truly read all my thoughts, you know exactly how much I love Myron.” If she’s ready to leave her people behind to follow me into doom, she should at least know I will never have any romantic interest in her.
The thought earns me a startling laugh which I’m not certain is in my head or drifting through the murmurs and chatter of courtiers. When I shoot a glance at Kaira, she smiles at me. “Don’t worry about that, Ayna. I have no such interest in females.” Her tone grows somber as she amends, “I have loved deeply before, but the male died.” And that’s all I’m going to get for now. Enough to put me at ease that she’s not following me for the wrong reasons.
It’s a different bond. One that I’d love to understand, but Erina’s voice demanding my attention is more pressing than exploring the whys and hows of the part-Flame in my head.