Page 24 of Craving Darkness

He carried me into the small shower stall. When I tried to loosen my grip on him so I could slide to my feet, he tightened his hold and tsked at me.

“It’s my privilege to care for my mate,” he said in his low, gravelly voice, making me melt back into his embrace. I didn’t know how he would accomplish his task, but I was here for it. Any time he wanted to take care of me, I was more than willing to let him.

He held me under the hot shower spray, letting the heat soothe my raw nerves. Then, using his 3-in-1 shampoo and body wash, he cleaned away the evidence of our joining. It took several minutes before I noticed his wrist.

At the sight of the changed brand on his wrist, I lifted my own, pulling my arm from where I’d held his back, nearly making him drop me at my sudden movements. He grunted, then readjusted his hold, allowing me to get a good look at my arm.

What was once a dark red brand was now pitch black, the symbol there clearly displaying beautiful swirls and lines. Without me asking, he brought his own wrist to rest next to mine. I ran my gaze back and forth between our brands, marveling at how they were a perfectly matched pair.

“I wonder if it means anything? Like, is it a word? It almost looks ancient.” My tone was full of wonder as I studied the markings, unable to get enough of them. I was fascinated by them, especially knowing how deep the meaning was. It was magical, being marked by Fate.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I feel like a fool for keeping myself away from my own kind all this time. If I hadn’t, I would have known what it meant when I was marked the first time. I could have looked for you.”

I couldn’t help but laugh softly at his words. “I was a baby. I’m not sure that you would have wanted to find me back then.”

He was silent for a long time. When he spoke again, it was with a serious expression. “I think it’s time we get to know each other better. I need to know what your life was like.”

I stiffened in his arms before I could control my reaction. He was right; we did need to learn more about each other, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell him about my parents. It wasn’t a pretty story, and I didn’t know how he would react to it.

He ran a soothing hand over my body, attempting to calm me. “I understand if you would rather not tell me about it. But it’s probably best if you do. We can wait awhile, though.”

I appreciated his words and turned to place a kiss on his jaw. “Thank you,” I sighed gratefully. “But you should know. Just in case…” I let my words trail off and shuddered. He should know that I am not safe, and being with me meant he wasn’t safe either. Not that I doubted he could take care of himself, but we could be so easily torn apart. Just the thought of it had a heavy weight settling into the pit of my stomach.

Valen reached out and turned the shower off, then grabbed the towel slung over the glass door. He patted me dry as best as he could without setting me down, then draped the towel over me. He carried me out of the bathroom and back over to the bed before tucking me in under the blankets. I watched as he quickly ran the towel over his body, and then I frowned as he tossed the towel to the floor. He slid under the covers, pulling my body snugly against his.

“Don’t worry,” he chuckled, seeing my disapproving look. “I’ll pick it up later. Right now, I need to hold you.”

I sighed and rested my head against his shoulder. I didn’t know where to begin my story, so I thought of how I used to stare into my closet, knowing that there was nothing to be afraid of—not until later.

Then I started speaking.

Chapter 16

Kallista

“I’m not really sure where to start…” I trailed off as I thought back to the beginnings of my life. There were so many memories, ones I had wanted to forget forever.

“You don’t have to tell me everything.” He breathed in deeply, taking my scent into his lungs, then kissed the top of my head. “Just the most important things that will help me protect you.”

I sighed and forced my limbs to relax, one at a time, not realizing how stiff they had become.

“I didn’t know I was adopted. Not until I was close to around eight years old. It was pointed out to me by one of my teachers if you can believe it. Once that seed was planted in my mind, it was fairly easy to tell. My mother, she’s blonde and blue eyed. Not that it mattered when I was a kid, but now that I am fully grown, our height difference is obvious, too. She’s tall, nearly as tall as my father. He’s dark haired like me, but he also has blue eyes. And then there’s me- the only one with a darker skin tone and dark eyes. I imagine, based on my features and skin tone, that I am probably full of Native American blood. I thought about having a DNA test done, you know, one of those that you do through the mail? But I was afraid that somehow they would be able to find out.”

I was rambling from nervousness, putting off explaining the real issue with my upbringing. I sighed again, then shrugged awkwardly against his side. “I guess I was… odd. I would get upset if my closet door was closed at night. I would lie awake as long as I could and stare into the darkness, hoping that whatever was there, hiding in the dark, would come out.” I closed my eyes and thought back to those days before shuddering.

“My mother hated it,” I said flatly. “She finally got tired of the way I would beg to have my door closed and have the nightlight off. I could hear my parents argue sometimes. She thought there was something wrong with me. She would blame it on my blood. I didn’t know what she meant until later, realizing she thought it had something to do with my birth parents.

“Then, when I was about twelve, I had a bit of a temper tantrum. I can’t even remember what I was so upset about, but my eyes changed for the first time. When my mother saw my eyes shift to black, she freaked out and called the priest from our church. She was convinced I was possessed by a demon.”

Valen’s arms tightened around me, and it was then I realized my whole body was trembling and my breaths were coming out in pants. “Shhh. I’ve got you, Mate. I’m right here, and nothing is going to hurt you.” I let his soothing words wash over me, letting them calm my racing heart.

“The priest seemed eager to do the ceremony.” My mouth twisted in a grimace. “Knowing what I know now, there is no way the church had approved what he was planning. I had been so scared. There were candles lit all over the place, and he was wearing these big, dark robes, waving around his hand, and speaking these strange words. I had been forced to lie on my bed and then tied down so I couldn’t move. While the priest performed his exorcism, my mother stood back, watching. She didn’t do anything to help me; just stared at me as I begged her. It was all too much for my mind. I guess I freaked out.”

I squeezed my eyes shut as the terror of the first experience of being tied to my bed filled my gut, making me nauseous. I swallowed back the bile as my fingers clung tightly to Valen, using him as an anchor to keep me from falling deeper into the pit of fear-induced trauma.

“It happened several times throughout the years. The exorcisms were never successful, obviously,” I smiled wryly. The smile dropped when I thought about the damage I’d caused. “During the first exorcism, the room started shaking as I lay there screaming. I didn’t even know I was doing it; I was too freaked out by the ropes and the yelling.”

I remembered the look on my mother’s face, the sheer terror that had overtaken her usual expression of hatred as she stood next to the priest, staring down at my body as I thrashed on the bed. I had been struggling to get free, begging her to let me go.