Page 32 of The Lucky One
My heart seemed to stop with happiness. He hadn’t used the L-word since he’d gotten back from rehab... It looked like we were working up to it again. I was ready to yell it from a mountain. But I couldn’t, not until everything with Paul was figured out.
“You’re wonderful,” I said simply, not to get ahead of myself.
“I swear, if he tries something—”
“He won’t. Don’t worry.”
But I was only half-certain of that. From Paul’s point of view, my relationship with Jon probably looked unrealistic, maybe unbelievable even. He didn’t know why Jon and I shared a bond so potent, it felt like fate. I needed to clear the air, no matter how much it hurt to let him go.
“Babe?” I asked, momentarily surprised by the pet name.
“Yeah?” Jon’s breath hitched in the speaker.
“I know you’ve been following some steps. But I was wondering... why haven’t you talked to Paul so far?”
A heavy silence settled in. I checked to make sure the call was still connected. It was.
“Jon?”
“I don’t know what to say, Emily.” It threw me off that he used my real name. “Every time I see him... I feel tempted to use. I do want to talk to him, but I don’t feel ready yet.”
I nodded empathetically. “I understand. Will I see you this weekend?” This was something to talk about in person, not over the phone. We hadn’t gotten much alone time so far. Jon was busy attending lots of meetings, catching up on spending time with his sister, making amends. He hadn’t gone back to school yet either. All of that intensified the longing I felt for him.
“I’ve got stuff to do tomorrow. But Sunday for sure.”
“Okay.”
Zack walked into the room and flicked the lights on and off, a quirky habit of his. I used to find it annoying, but now I knew he did it to grab my attention.
“I got to go. I’ll call you later.” He said goodbye and I hung up. When I looked up, Zack was already on his way out. “Wait, where are you going?”
“Meeting someone.” Zack shrugged like it was just another ordinary Saturday. I walked over to the doorframe and leaned against it.
“Your brother will be back from the hospital soon. Don’t you want to wait?”
Zack rolled his eyes. “Nah, it was only a little blood. Plus, I don’t think my help is what he needs.”
I bit my lip. When Zack and I had talked in the garage before I had chosen Jon, I had promised not to hurt Paul—but I’d failed.
Zack picked up on my mood change. “Listen, we’re cool and all. It just sucks seeing him like this, okay?”
I nodded, knowing he wasn’t talking about Paul’s physical injuries. Zack was such a precious person if you looked below the surface.
“I’ll talk to him today.” It was a promise I knew I had the power of keeping.
“Good.” He checked his appearance in the mirror close to the front entrance.
“Have fun with your girl.” I winked, guessing at his plans. He had combed his hair up into a bun—an unusually done look for him.
“Yeah, whatever.” He made a farting sound with his lips before dashing outside.
An hour passed in which I tried to figure out how to start a conversation with Paul. By now I had about eight entries in my book, but none of them were right.
Dear Paul...
Paul...
Hi, Paul...