Page 35 of The Backup Plan

Cameron

You laugh, but girth beats length any day. Speaking of that, have any of you heard of VPL?

Cory Thatcher has disabled photo sharing.

Cory Thatcher has enabled auto-destruct on all messages.

Hayden

It’s when girls don’t want lines showing through their leggings or whatever. Good excuse for thongs or nothing at all.

Cameron

Yeah, that’s what I thought once. Gone are the days of innocence.

Cory

I’ve been there, Cam. You’d think for guys who grew up talking locker room trash it would be no big deal, but it’s awkward.

Ethan

It’s the audience, 100%

Marshall

Being told to adjust is bad enough. Then you have to have a whole conversation about it. Is that okay? Is that okay?

No one asks if we’re okay.

Cory

And seams.

Cameron

The seams were my enemy today.

Dale

I double up on the compression shorts when I have photos, and my media team fixes everything with their editing software. I come out looking like a Ken doll.

Cameron

Yeah, Shelby said some shit about shadows and angles. I’m going to put up a Help Wanted sign in the photography studio and schedule my own editor. I don’t trust her.

Dale

If you’re still after the girl, the right shadows and angles are a marketing tool.

Cameron

I don’t need marketing. The master plan is well underway. Today we talked for forty minutes about rocks, and the relative porosity of alabaster and soapstone. She wants me, boys.

Ethan

I’m not over it yet. I can’t move on. BENCHMARK YOURSELF?!

Cameron