Page 78 of The Backup Plan
I’m allowed to be sad. I’m allowed to hate this stupid job, and I’m allowed to say I am done trying to battle this fucking adversity. I am done.
Cory
You could use the job to your advantage, Cam. There are bee conservation groups. It’s a big thing. You could adopt a hive or something. Just don’t visit it.
If you don’t want to play later, just play now and bank the money. Stay with UND. You’ll make more as the starter than you will on anyone else’s bench. Boom. So many bees saved.
Cameron
But I don’t get to “just play” anymore if I stay, do I?
I’m a solid backup. I love football, and I love being a backup. I don’t know why that offends everybody.
Cory
Maybe we can do something about the exposure part of it. Let me think. There’s got to be a way.
And Ethan, take a breath. He’s venting. No one’s leaving mid-season.
Ethan
I’m pissed and disappointed, so I can vent, too.
Cam, if you try to come here and make my team your team, like your real team never existed, you and your bumble buddy won’t get through the door. I’ll make sure of it.
Ethan Engel has left the private chat.
Cameron nearly dropped his phone when it rang.
“Hi, Cory.”
“This is easier. I jammed my left thumb today.”
“Sorry.”
“All good. A little tape.”
Cam heard the crack of a can of something fizzy and couldn’t hold back a smile. “I didn’t get the F-bomb, but I’m driving you to drink?”
Normally the poster child for athletes’ nutrition, Cory’s one vice was a disgustingly sweet strawberry carbonated water that he savored like Cam savored strawberry milkshakes. He tried a can of it once and barely swallowed. Cory sipped his through a straw so the artificial red dye didn’t stain his teeth.
“It’s not that bad, Cam. You’re not alone in trying to balance all this.”
Cam shoved his hat under his pillow and yanked at his hair, whisky still burning in his raw throat.
“Look, Avery loves her brother more than anyone in the world, and had the strength to shout him down when he was treating people badly. She had no problem dumping some classes to prioritize her art, and she has the freedom to do that. She took control of whatever was going on with Isaac that made her upset, and rose above it because she needed his help with Justin. If I had half the power she does, I’d be as good at this job as you are. As it is, I’m forgetting to go to class. I forgot I did a podcast. Everywhere off the field, I’m useless.”
“It’s a lot to process,” Cory said. “I’m sorry Ethan came at you, but I’ll listen if you want to talk.”
“There’s nothing else to talk about. Like I said, my choices got me here, and my next choices are going to get me out.”
“Jordan got you here. You came to UND to ride the bench and collect your degree, and the plan derailed because of something completely out of your control.”
Cam squeezed his hair tighter and grimaced.
“It wasn’t just this summer,” Cory continued. “Jordan could have broken his neck during the first game your freshman year, and you would have been up. Starter, poster boy, team captain, all of it. This life was always coming for you. If it isn’t worth it, then quit.” He took a loud, strawberry slurp. “I don’t think that’s really what you want to get out of this crisis, though. If you really wanted to quit, you wouldn’t make a big announcement and invite us to your nervous breakdown. You’d shut up and bail, just like Jordan did.”
“Jordan didn’t want to quit.”