Page 38 of Singled Out
The irony of that struck me. For most of my life, I’d been unable to walk into a room or a business unnoticed. Because I was an athlete, anonymity had been impossible from the time I was in high school. How many times had I wished to be unnoticed? Just a regular guy living a private life? And now that Harper was acting completely oblivious to my presence, I longed to be acknowledged by her.
This girl had the power to turn my life on its head.
I cautiously walked toward her table, my footsteps and her clinking of stones the only sounds in the cavernous room.
When I reached the opposite side of her worktable, I halted, waiting to see if she’d acknowledge me.
She did not.
She continued her search, setting out stones that were all a similar pinkish-purple color.
“Harper,” I said into the gaping silence, “I’m sorry I was an asshole last night. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way.”
Her gaze lifted to mine at last, those milk-chocolate eyes penetrating mine as if she was weighing my words. “I didn’t. I don’t.” She returned her attention to the stones, pulling out an oval-shaped one and setting it beside the others. “Thank you for apologizing.” She fiddled with more stones before adding, “I’m sorry I kissed you.”
Her words hit hard, causing a pang in my chest. Ego? Pride? “Ouch.”
Harper glanced up at me and narrowed her eyes. “You obviously didn’t want me to.”
Therein lay my conundrum. “Let’s get one thing straight,” I said quickly, hating that look in her eyes that said she thought I wasn’t attracted to her. “The first thought of kissing you came the instant you opened the door to me at your house, looking like a dream in that sexy-as-fuck dress.”
Her gaze popped up to mine again, her eyes going dark with heat.
Maybe I shouldn’t have been so honest.
There was something about her though.
I’d known her for two days, for all intents and purposes, and she already had a way of making me want to level with her like I’d leveled with no one else.
As the silence lengthened, her brows shot up. “So I didn’t read you wrong all night?”
“You didn’t read me wrong, but it’s complicated.” I cringed at the cliché.
Her chest rose with a deep inhalation as she went back to searching through the box of stones.
I could bow out right now, tell her I didn’t want to get into it, or even lay the blame on her dad for why we couldn’t be together. But that was only the simple, surface, easy reason. I’d never told anyone my reasons for not dating now that I was a father, but something about Harper Ellison made me want to show my cards. I wanted her to know it was me, not her.
I leaned my elbows on the high-top table, giving myself one last chance to not go into this sacred topic.
Harper already knew more about me than any woman I’d dated, because she’d asked. She seemed to instinctively understand me better. I knew from the get-go she wasn’t after my money, didn’t care about my previous fame. Knowing she wasn’t scoping me out as a potential husband made it easier to reveal the Max no one else ever saw.
“The reason I was such a jerk last night is because I was pissed at myself for getting distracted from Danny. I can’t let that happen. Danny comes first,” I said with all the conviction in my soul. “I intentionally haven’t dated since…since he got here.” I paused and urged the thickness in my throat to recede, wondering when the punch of Jamie’s death would have less power over me.
“Danny turned out to be okay,” she said. “You didn’t get distracted. You took your monitor with you. You were listening for him. It’s not your fault the batteries quit while we were out there.”
I could argue with that, but I didn’t bother. The monitor, Danny’s dirty diaper, those weren’t the issue. “It’s a small example of the bigger picture. A relationship takes energy and time. I can’t afford those. Danny deserves as much of my energy and time as I can give him. Jamie named me as his guardian because he trusted me to put his son first.”
Harper set down the stones she was holding and turned her full attention to me. “You’re a wonderful father to Danny, Max. I saw it last night, but even before that, I heard how good you were with him. People talk in this town.” She let out a half laugh. “All the damn time. And what I’ve always heard is how dedicated to Danny you’ve been. Like it or not, this town judges everybody, and if you weren’t measuring up, word would’ve gotten around.”
“This town often judges based on a partial picture. Limited knowledge.”
“That’s true,” she allowed. “I know I only saw you with him for a few minutes, but there’s not a doubt in my mind you love him to pieces and would do anything for him.” She walked around to my side of the table and sat on top of it, inches away from me. Touching my arm, she said, “Max.”
I met her gaze.
“Hear me. You’re a wonderful, dedicated father to Danny. He’s a lucky little boy to have you.”
That lump in my throat pulsed back even bigger than before. “There’s nothing lucky about losing both your parents before you’re a year old.”