Page 84 of Singled Out
“I’m missing something,” West said, eyeing the two of us.
“Max has a secret friend,” Ben said.
“You don’t know that,” I said, not hiding my irritation.
“I do now.” He laughed. “I’ve suspected you had something going on for a couple of weeks. You just confirmed it with your reaction.”
“Asshole,” I repeated, not putting much heat behind it. He didn’t know enough to out Harper, so I’d take a little shit from these guys, and then it would pass.
“You gonna tell us about your lady friend, Dawson?” Chance asked.
“Maybe it’s not a lady,” West cracked.
“It’s a female,” I growled.
My confirmation elicited howls and hoots.
“Are we back in middle school or what?” I asked.
“Must be a reason you’re keeping things secret,” Chance said as he reached for more chips.
“It’s a fling,” I said. “Nothing serious. Just fun.” Saying that made me feel itchy. I took another swig of beer.
Everyone’s eyes remained on me, as if I was going to tell them more.
“It’s not worth talking about,” I continued. “I need to put an end to it soon.”
“So she’s just a fuck buddy?” West asked.
My gut churned as I nodded. “That’s what it’s supposed to be. I’m afraid if I let it go on much longer, one or both of us will get attached.”
“Would that really be so bad?” Luke asked.
“Did you hear West’s story?” I shot back rhetorically. “I’ve been that kid. My dad left when I was thirteen. Having a parent take off isn’t something you completely recover from.”
“What if you found the right person though?” Luke persisted. “What if you found a woman who’d stay? Be a mom to your boy?”
“How the hell do you figure out the difference?” West asked.
“Good damn question,” Chance said.
“I can’t risk it.” I shook my head, resolute.
“So you’re fine with being alone for the rest of your life?” Ben asked.
I pegged him with a half grin. “There’s a happy middle ground.”
“Sneaking around?” Luke frowned. “I’m all for a fling here and there, but I wouldn’t mind finding a wife.”
I shook my head. “We’re all here because of a loss. Loss of a spouse, loss of a relationship. Loss of Danny’s biological parents in my case. All of us. For every single one of us, shit went sideways and already affected our kids. I don’t like those odds.”
“You lost your cousin, which sucks, but Danny’s not going to remember it,” Luke pointed out.
“And Knox’s Juniper,” Chance said, referring to Knox Breckenridge, who was no longer single but often still joined us, just not tonight. “She was young enough when her mom deserted her that she probably won’t have emotional scars.”
“Danny’s old enough now he’d get hurt just like West’s girls,” I said.
“It’s a risk,” Chance said. “We all gotta decide, if we’re lucky enough to find someone we click with, whether it’s worth that risk.”