Page 86 of Singled Out
I needed to.
I knew I needed to, but fuck.
“This thing between us,” I began, then swallowed, gave myself one last chance to reconsider. “It’s run its course, Harper.”
She was quiet for so long I turned to look at her again. She tilted her head and said, “Funny, I thought it was just getting good.”
Ah, hell. There was a part of me that’d been hoping she’d agree right away. That would’ve made this suck-ass conversation a little less suck ass.
“You’re incredible, Harper?—”
“Oh, my God, stop,” she said. “Max, stop. Can we talk about this?”
“Of course.” I didn’t like that idea, didn’t think it would do any good, but I owed her a conversation if she wanted it.
“I…” She shook her head and hugged her knees to her chest. “I know we never set out to grow closer, but we have. I said I wasn’t looking for anything long-term, but…we’re good together.”
Shit. This was not what I’d expected at all.
“What changed, Harper?”
She didn’t answer right away, looking out over the water, lost in thought. “I guess I did,” she said quietly. “Naomi’s death affected me. Made me realize how lacking my life was. I’ve consciously started taking more chances. I have a great apartment on the square, and Cambria, Dakota, and I are on the verge of owning our own business, if we can just find an investor. It feels weird to say, but I’m loving it. The more chances I take, the more I want to keep taking chances because they’re making me happy.”
“I’m glad you’re happy,” I said lamely.
She lowered her knees and swung around to face me. “I’ve been wanting to talk about us for a while. Even though it isn’t the deal we started out with, I want a chance with you, Max. Look at me.”
I did as she requested, meeting her gaze that was filled with so much sparkle and honesty it hurt.
“I’m in love with you, Max, and I could swear you care about me too.”
Her declaration knocked the breath right out of me. A dozen emotions swirled through me so intensely I couldn’t begin to pick them apart or name them.
“I want more than your secret nighttime hours,” she continued, gathering steam. “I want to spend time with both you and Danny, get to know your son better, be a couple out in public. I know you’re worried what my dad will say, but all he wants is for me to be happy. If I tell him you make me happy, he’ll be all for us being together.”
Fuck.
I never should’ve kept what Bob Ellison had said to myself, but the only thing to do now was come clean. I rubbed a hand over my face, hating past Max, the one who hadn’t leveled with her. “Your dad already gave me his blessing.”
I was again met with several tense seconds of silence.
“What?” Her confusion was clear.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“What do you mean? When did he give you his blessing?”
“After the gala, he came to my classroom first thing that Monday morning. Scared the hell out of me because we’d been together the night before. I thought for sure he was there to bust my balls. He shocked me by saying he’d reconsidered. He thought I’d be good for you. If I wanted to pursue you, I had his blessing.”
“Good for me? Why didn’t you tell me this?”
“I should have,” I said. I knew damn well I should have. “I guess maybe I was clinging to it as an excuse for why we can’t be together.”
She fumed quietly. I couldn’t blame her.
“What’s the real reason, Max? How about you be honest with me since I just bared my heart to you.”
I considered diving into the lake, swimming for as long as I could hold my breath, as a distraction, an escape. But I owed her the truth.