Page 64 of Misted
Not that I can run. I need more rest if I want to take someone twice my size like Hawk. For now, I’ll pretend I’m still weak.
The ringing in my head returns, and I moan at the heaviness in my body. I can’t even move my arm for a long time. I run my tongue over my cracked lips. I haven’t showered in days, or a week and I’m still in the dress from the police station. I feel so dirty and out of it.
The walls of the room spin like a merry go round on cracks. The chandelier appears like a wide-eyed monster about to fall on my head. I blink my unfocused eyes a few times, clearing the tears that gathered in my lids.
“Haaaawk…” My speech is slurred as if I’m drunk. That’s an idea. I’ll ask him for alcohol with the paracetamol pills. They help in reducing the intensity of withdrawal symptoms. I’m glad he’s at least giving me those pills.
I blink some more as I angle my head to the side, but he isn’t in the room. He usually sits opposite me or at the head of the bed and watches me like a researcher would watch their lab rat.
Screw him for putting me through this.
I try to sit up, but I slide down against the sheets instead. They feel so harsh against my sensitive, sweaty skin. I fall on my knees with a thud. With a weak hand, I clutch the bedpost. My strength fails me, and I end up on my face.
My arms feel like jelly when I try to push off my face. The position with my head down brings bile to my throat.
The door swings open. Blinding light filters from the entrance and I screw my lids shut. Muted footsteps filter into my hazy head. Strong arms wrap around my shoulders and pull me up. My head lols back and falls against a hard, broad chest. This warmth. This damn warmth. Why did I lose it, again?
Hot breaths tickle against my ear and I nuzzle against it with everything in me.
“Hug?” I murmur in a slur that I don’t even understand.
“What are you doing?” Hawk snaps, obviously not hearing my pathetic loss of control.
“Throw… up…” Bile fills my throat.
He fumbles with something on the side of the bed then brings a black bucket my face. “Here.”
One sweaty hand clutches his forearm and the other grips the bucket as I empty my stomach. I go at it for so long until I’m dry heaving.
A strong, comforting hand rubs my back in slow, circular motion. Tiny tingles erupt on my skin and ignite a fire deep in my soul. Am I hallucinating now? Because I think Hawk is rubbing my back.
Once finished, I stare up at him. He pushes the bucket to the side and looks down at me with approval. He’s wearing a cotton grey T-shirt that flatters his broad shoulders and contrasts against the feather tattoos snaking up his neck.
I breathe in his cloves and ocean scent — and warmth. He’s just too warm. It’s been so long since I belonged in his embrace this way.
I’m definitely hallucinating. Is this one of Omega’s side effects that I didn’t experience before?
“You’ll feel better now that you vomited.” His deep voice drifts around me.
I want to remember that I hate him for doing this to me and for bringing out the monster I kept shoving back in the closet. However, I’m so groggy and weak and he’s just too freaking warm.
He can melt me if he holds me a bit tighter.
“Why are you so warm? Did you let other women have this?” I ask, then want to slap a hand over my mouth.
“What?”
I release a breath. Thank God my speech is too weak and slurred for him to make out what I’m saying.
“S-shooower.” I manage, gripping his forearm harder.
The ground drifts from underneath me when Hawk carries me as if I weigh a feather. I want to soak up the moment and wrap my arms around his neck, but I’m so weak. My hands and legs hang limp and awkward as if I’m paralysed.
I haven’t been this weak in my entire life.
Except when I lost everything.
Once we’re inside the cosy bathroom with white and blue tiles and a small window at the top, Hawk sets me on my feet in front of the large clawfoot bathtub. I sway and fall against his chest, barely opening my eyes. His strong arm surrounds my back while he reaches around me to open the faucet. Hot steam fills the bathroom and condensation coats my skin.