Page 91 of Misted

Mist

I regret many things but protecting you has never been one of them.

Present,

I’m sobbing quietly by Hawk’s bed. I thought I didn’t have tears left after that day, but here they are. Here’s a repetition of the second-worst day of my life. Or third worse. There was also the day Hawk left me.

And now, it feels like he’ll do it all over again.

I run my fingers through his hair, close my eyes, release a breath, and let him go.

I stand up from his side on unsteady feet. I’ve been here for two days. Eloise barely made me stitch my wound and shower. Since then, I refused to leave his side whether for food or anything.

My forehead leans until it meets Hawk’s. I breathe his ocean scent mixed with antiseptics, engraving every inch of him to memory. This time, I’ll make sure nothing like this happens to him again.

This time, he won’t be shot because of me.

“You’re still my light in the darkness, Hawk,” I murmur. “I’ll do what I have to do and I don’t care if you hate me for it.”

If he hates me, it means he’s alive.

I pull away from him and wipe my eyes. I give him my back and it takes everything in me to walk out. Again.

After spending the happiest days of my life in fifteen years, I’m walking out and leaving my heart with him.

I take a moment as soon as I’m outside the door to calm my pounding heart. I can hear the breaking and the mourning. I can hear my heart begging me to return and never leave him again.

But my heart is what got Hawk in trouble in the first place. This time, my brain is in charge.

I swallow the ache back, straighten my shoulders and descend the stairs.

Crow and Eloise sit in the living room, reading from the same book. I didn’t even know Crow reads in the first place. He has his arm around her shoulder as she leans into his side. His other hand is snuggled protectively on her belly.

I bite back the old ache and clear my throat.

Once they look up — but don’t change position — Crow does a look over at my black, straight Channel dress and Louboutin pumps. My hair is gathered in a twist and my makeup is done to perfection.

I’m back to my mask. The only difference is that I don’t feel so safe behind it anymore.

Not that I ever did. Like Omega, it was all a deflation method to forget.

“Do you know who attacked you?” Crow straightens without letting go of Eloise. “Before the attack, Hawk mentioned something about Poison and Ink?”

“It’s not their disciples. They don’t have the tattoos.”

“Well, they were from the second generation, no?”

“Hmm. Probably.” I deflate. They definitely were. It’s like they’re mercenaries amongst mercenaries. They didn’t attack out of the blue and they had one purpose: Hawk. Unless I engaged with them, they ignored me, so it’s more than clear who’s behind this.

“Take care of him,” I tell Crow in a steadiness I don’t feel.

“Where the fuck are you going?” Crows jerks to his feet with a darkened scowl. “You’re leaving him this way?”

“I have responsibilities back in England.”

“Fuck, redhead.” Crow runs a tense hand through his hair. “I always kept the bloody hell away from all your drama but this is fucking too much.”

“Crow.” Eloise stands and places a calming hand on his arm.