Page 72 of Raven's Dawn
But given how much she valued her friendship with Graham, forgive me for assuming it was more than that.
“Then what is it?” I asked.
“This isn’t for ye. This war, this battle, it isn’t yers.” She gritted her teeth. “But even if it were, ye’re too sheltered. Ye’re too lighthearted.”
“Just because I’m not jaded doesn’t mean that I’m sheltered,” I said. “I just saved your life. No one’s got hurt because of me. I have done nothing to harm anyone since I’ve been here, and even if that was your first impression of me, you need to let it the fuck go. Because I’m not leaving. I’m here. I’m here with your childhood best friend and the god that you desperately want eternity from. And all you’re doing by being a cunt to me is burying yourself farther and farther from them. I’m not saying we need to be friends, but I am saying that you need to swallow your pride and recognize that we are allies. I saved your life, and I hope you’ll save mine one of these days.”
I turned to Laila and then to Iliantha. This opening had four pathways attached to it. “Which one?”
In the archway straight ahead, a furry face appeared. Two big brown eyes, fuzzy brown cheeks, and two big ears.
“Deer!” I yelled.
It took off.
I ran after it.
26
RAIN
“The path is different now.” Between deep breaths, Iliantha looked around. “This is the path I came from, but it’s not the same.”
“Well, can’t say I’m surprised that it changes based on the way we move through it,” Laila said, bending over to grasp her knees.
My calves were burning, so I lowered myself to a squat. The air couldn’t get in my lungs quick enough. “Damn, I need to get back to the gym.”
The deer was much faster than us. We’d been running for what felt like an hour and still hadn’t caught it. Hadn’t even seen it since the first time it’d sprinted past.
“You and me both,” Laila murmured. Propping her hands on her hips, she nodded to Amara. “You’re right about one thing. When it comes to aerobic strength, we’re weak.”
Amara frowned. “I hadn’t meant any offense, do gràs. It’s just?—”
“Yeah, yeah.” Laila waved her off. “I’m starving. We didn’t even get to the food at dinner. She just drugged us and sent us off into a maze in the middle of the night tripping our balls off.”
The backpack I hadn’t taken off since we arrived was still strapped around me. Covered in mud and kelpie blood, sure, but it was still there.
After unbuckling it, I dug around inside for a moment. The granola bars at the bottom may have been smashed, but the packaging was still intact. I tossed one to Laila, then to Iliantha and Amara. Still trying to catch my breath, I tore open the last one. When it felt like I could get a decent breath in, I dumped the contents into my mouth. There was more granola than bar at this point.
“Can I ask you a question, do gràs?” Amara asked, sitting across from Laila.
“Throw it at me,” Laila said between chews.
“The magic Caeda uses,” Amara began. “The way she manipulates souls to live longer. How do you feel about that?”
“You want my blanket opinion? Or the multifaceted one?”
“Both?” Amara said.
“I’m glad that the magic was banned. It was made illegal way back when, before your soul was ever even created,” Laila said. “It didn’t need to be, really. People on Morduaine had no desire to use it. We saw what the maalaichte cnihme did with that magic. They destroyed our world with it. There was a natural consequence, so we all understood why it shouldn’t be used, and why it had to be banned on this realm. Hell, I signed off on it way back then.
“But then I died. There was no tree of life. There was no eternity. You had a few options if you wanted to expand your life. Either A, you did what Caeda has done, or B, you became a Vampire. Obviously, considering how I feel about Warren and Ezra, I don’t have issues with Vampires. Especially because Ezra, for example, didn’t choose to become one. Warren did, though, and I get it. A hundred years to live isn’t enough. Especially not when your enemy lives for thousands, like the Angels do.
“From what I’ve gathered, the Elves put up a hell of a fight against them. They have, for the last hundred and fifty years, since Caeda accepted the crown from her mother. The Fae haven’t. And I mean no offense by that, either to the Fae or the queens.” She looked between Iliantha and Amara. “But the fact is, the rulership here in Makora is strong. We don’t see the damage in this city that we have seen in the capital. The Elves have always been good fighters. It’s why we used them to create Guardians. Maybe that plays a part, or maybe it’s the ruler.
“But, on a moral level, because I don’t see Caeda causing any true harm with the magic, I’d be a hypocrite if I hated her because of it. If I were in her shoes, and my world was under constant threat from a race that lived thousands of years longer than I did, and I knew I could protect my people if I used the magic that’s forbidden, I would. I would do anything to protect my home and my community, as long as I knew that I wasn’t tipping the scales in a bad way. I don’t believe Caeda is. I think that she is leveling the scales that are stacked against her. So no, I can’t blame her for that, and no, I don’t have an issue with her using the magic.
“I have an issue with the magic itself because of what I’ve experienced, but how is that even right? The magic is innately bad because it requires taking a life, but is it? If you’re taking the life of someone who is causing more harm to the world than good, are you doing more good than bad by using what is considered to be bad magic? Like I said, it’s multifaceted. Rarely do I look at things as black and white, and this is an area of gray. I can’t flat out say that I have no issue with anyone using this magic. I also can’t say that I think Caeda is using it irresponsibly.”