Page 38 of Burned By Fire

“Other than a few bruises, I’m fine. Robert wasn’t who I thought he was.” She bites the inside of her cheek, but I don’t miss the quiver of her bottom lip. My mom’s a proud woman, and it must be hard for her to even hint she was wrong.

“I’m glad you’re okay. I’ve missed you,” I say, taking a step towards her, but I stop in case she doesn’t want me any closer.

She holds out her arms and sobs escape her mouth. “I’m sorry.”

I fly into her arms. “I’m sorry too.” I hug her tightly.

We hold the embrace for a few minutes. When I finally sit in the chair, the mood in the room feels much better. She asks what I’ve been up to, and I tell her about my apartment.

“Once I leave the hospital, the insurance company is going to put me up in a hotel. Will you come and stay with me?”

I’ve never told my mom no, but things have changed between us now, and I can’t live under her roof again. I want to repair our relationship, but I won’t go back to the way things were.

“I think it’s better we have our own space and live apart. I’d love to visit you, though.”

Jackie silences my mom before she can speak with a flick of her wrist. “Ember is doing great on her own. She has a great job, a nice boyfriend, and her apartment is coming along nicely.” Jackie’s assessment of my situation is a stretch of the truth, but I’m glad for her support.

“Will the hotel be close by?” I ask, hoping to change the subject.

“Actually, I want to get away for a bit to clear my head.”

“So, you’re leaving?” I ask. It’s typical of my mom to miss out the important details.

I squeeze my fist in anger. She doesn’t think things through. I can’t uproot my life and leave with her. I’d miss Sol, my friends, and the firehouse. I’ve got my own life to live and a baby on the way. My stomach fills with butterflies at the realization I’m going to have my own child to care for.

“Once I’ve had a vacation, maybe I’ll come back, although I’m told my house is ruined.”

I have so many memories of our family home, and even now she’s only seeing it as hers, but I let it go.

We talk a little more before Jackie and I leave. If she’s still here tomorrow, I have permission to visit, but our time is running out before she’s discharged. I probably should’ve mentioned the baby, but I’m not ready to share something so big with her.

“Shall we go get some food?” Jackie asks.

My date with Sol was completely ruined, and the idea of sitting in a restaurant isn’t appealing. “Can we get a burrito from the takeout van and go for a stroll in the park?”

“Yes. If that’s what you want.”

A few minutes later, she pulls up in the park where I usually meet Sol, and we take a slow walk. She pays for the burritos, and we sit on a bench.

“Do you want to tell me what happened with Sol?” She doesn’t look at me while she speaks, and I take a bite of my burrito so I have time to think.

“I missed our date on Monday, and I haven’t spoken to him much since he drove me home from the hospital after the fire at Mom’s. He’s called me a few times and he showed up the other night, but he didn’t stay long. I need time to think.”

A guy that looks similar to Sol passes by, and I stretch to get a clear view of him. Once I’m satisfied my mind’s playing tricks on me and he isn’t here, I relax back.

“Have you told him about the baby?”

My eyebrows shoot up. It wasn’t hard for her to figure out, but hearing her say it out loud still shocks me. “You know?”

“It’s an educated guess. You were sick this morning. Does Sol know?”

“No.” I hang my head, ashamed I’m such a coward. He said he wanted a family, so he might be over the moon, but I’m too afraid to tell him I made a mistake by not using any contraception.

“You should.”

“I’m only twenty-one and new to the fire service. Sol’s still recovering from his trauma and only took a new job on Monday. I’m not sure either of us is ready for this.” I sigh heavily.

“There is never going to be a perfect moment to have a baby. Life doesn’t work like that. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’ll care for you if you give him a chance. It would be foolish of you to shut him out.”

“You’re right. I know that. I’m just scared.”

“And it’s okay to be.” She pats my leg, and I snuggle into her side. We talk and eat for a while longer. Deep down, I know I need to face Sol, but I’m not ready to do it yet. The little person growing inside me is depending on me, and I want to get this right.