Page 137 of Goodbye Note
The worst days are fixed with the right star in your sky.
PART 2
FALL
Hands on hearts even when we’re sleeping apart.
FORTY
VARIAN
We parted with a promise to make each other fit into each other's schedules. We didn’t have our Airbnb week because, of course, Arik was entirely booked up, which felt purposeful. But both our managers promised that after the Europe leg of my tour, they would make at least a couple of days happen.
I accepted it, but I knew this industry. Keep him too busy to fuck this up.
I called.
And called.
And called.
“Hello?” Kiernan answered his phone.
“Where is Arik?” I asked, keeping my annoyance out of my tone.
“He’s in a photo shoot. I’ll have him call you back.”
“Is that Varian?” Arik’s voice called.
“Yes, I’m telling him you’ll call him back— Give him a couple of hours.”
“Sure.” At least I knew he was getting the message.
But he didn’t call me back before we got on our flight. We were playing a couple of shows across Europe, and I wished we didn’t have to. How different this felt than a few months ago when I dreaded my downtime.
I landed to missed calls from Arik and a few texts.
Arik: Don’t tell me I missed you before your flight.
Arik: Fuck.
Arik: I’m so sorry. The label has us working eighteen hours a day in the ramp up to the single release.
Arik: Safe flight, call me when you land.
I tried to do math in my head. If it was eight in the morning here, that would make it…the middle of the fucking night there.
Our security ushered us into a special customs line and then into a waiting blacked-out SUV. I kept my hat pulled low, dreading the assault of questions about Arik I knew this leg of our tour would bring.
I pulled up his journal.
i miss dark eyes to go chase our Sunrise.
i took a gamble and instead of A rush of chemicals, it’s a rush of empty.
i got a pocketful of Daydreams only to turn them to nightmares.
Varian: We just landed. We are on our way to the hotel before our packed afternoon. Call me when you get up and wish me luck with this jet lag.