Page 42 of Double Dare

“Do you want those dicks knowing our business?” Kade asks.

“No, but we just laid into Dom for keeping secrets.”

“This isn’t even that big of a secret. They already know I’m into Lakes.”

“Yeah, but they don’t know you’re fucking her.”

“I’m not fucking her!” he shouts.

“Oh, fuck off, Kade. We all know it’s going there.” I sit in a rocking chair and let that fact settle in my soul. Kade is going to fuck Laken. We’re going to be fucking the same girl. Me and my brother. Am I okay with that? Like…deep down, seriously, in my soul, honestly and truthfully okay with that?

“We all know? Do I? I don’t know shit, Jed. I’m still waiting for you to kick me out. I can’t even believe you—possessive as fuck over her caveman style—are cool with this.” He turns his back, leaning against the railing to face me.

“Think about it, you dick. I just happened to meet her first. If you’d been working the desk that night, our roles would be reversed.”

“You don’t know that.”

“No, but I’m starting to think it’s…always been going there. I’m not fucking going anywhere, you aren’t going anywhere, and Laken is tough enough to handle us both. It’s just how it is. So, we can either fight over her forever, or we can…have her together.”

“Share her? You think she seriously wants that? She’s not some toy. Jesus.”

Fuck him for thinking I meant that. I wanna punch him again. “Both be with her! Fuck, I don’t know what to call it. A relationship where we’re both with her. Whatever the hell that is.”

Kade starts to bark something at me, but he stops, taking a drag instead. “Do you think she actually wants that?”

I’ve gotten pretty damn good at knowing my girl. I can sense her guilt over this whole thing, but more than that, I can sense her feelings for Kade. They’re the same feelings she feels for me, even if the intent, dynamic, and root of them are a bit different. She loves me, and I know it because I feel her love, but she loves Kade, too. The way she loves us both is different, but it’s no less powerful either way. Laken fell in love with two people, and now we’re navigating that. And as fucked as it is, I can’t picture this thing without Kade in it now.

“I think she does,” I admit. “I know her. She’s afraid to admit it because she doesn’t want to hurt me or take away from what we have, and she doesn’t want to assume what you want because she’s not about that. But…she wants us both. To be with us both.”

“And you’re just cool with that?” Kade asks.

I look at my brother. “Does it feel wrong to you?”

He takes a full minute to think about it. “No, not wrong. I just feel like a piece of shit for barging into your relationship.”

“Yeah, kinda wanna kill you for that,” I laugh. “But get used to it. Whether you barged in or she drew you in, it doesn’t matter. This is our reality now, bud. Take it or leave it.”

“So, you want it? This three-person relationship thing?”

Never in all my life have I pictured myself in a three-person relationship. Ever. Up until I met Laken, I never really pictured myself in any sort of relationship. But now that it’s here, and it’s happening, it’s the only way I know and the only direction I want to go in.

“Yep. Sick of feeling weird about it. Sick of being ashamed of it. So, how about you stop feeling guilty for it and we just fucking do this thing so Laken can stop feeling guilty, too. Go from there, yeah?”

Kade blows out a stream of smoke. “Fuck, I’ll try. She’s going to want to talk about it all.” He butts out his cig in Mom’s tray. “Go fuck your girl, Jed.” He starts down the steps, keys in hand.

“Where are you going?”

“To sketch.” So, to think. To absorb. To process.

“You good to drive?”

“Yes. Fuck off.”

I watch him climb into the truck and pull out. He mostly drank coffee, maybe a whiskey or two, but he seems fine to drive.

Laken’s skin is always warm, but her feet are always cold. I climb into bed, wrapping my arms around her, tangling our feet together to warm hers up. Burying my face in her thick blond hair, I breathe in her lavender and coconut shampoo, using it to calm my nerves.

I can ask myself a million times how my brother and I both fell for the same girl, but I’m sick of that question. It happened, and now it’s time to get over it. Move forward. Luckily, we fell for a girl who really could handle both of us. She’s independent to a fault, and I know she’ll set her own boundaries. As long as she’s happy, I’m happy, and Kade’s happy, we’ll learn the rest as we go.