Page 86 of Double Dare

“Yeah, so stop with the guilt, okay? We all belong in this thing, and I’ve even noticed my thoughts changing, you know? Like…it’s weird to feel completely possessive of someone, but also feel possessive of you because you’re hers. Like I want to protect you on her behalf and shit. It’s weird. And I want you to be possessive of her even though I am. How does that shit make sense?” he laughs, pulling back to rub his neck. “It just is what it is, and I…fuck, I really like it.”

But I get it because I want him to love her. I want him to feel as possessive and as predatory over her as I do. It would crush me if he left us because now that this dynamic is where we’re at, I can’t picture it any other way. “I get it,” I tell him. “It’s…yeah, I get it.”

“We’re fucked,” he laughs. “No denying that.”

I let out a laugh and face the wind to cool down. “You don’t even know half the fucked up shit going on in my head.”

“It’s probably the same fucked up shit going on in mine,” Jed says. “I just thought it was hot to watch Laken make out with you.”

Yeah, I’ve come to enjoy watching them together. Although, that started a long time ago. But now that I know I can put myself in the fantasies, I’ve already envisioned a ton of filthy scenarios. And it all feels different now. Before, it sometimes hurt to watch them together. I mean, I got off to it, but there was never a chance for me to picture myself as a part of it. Now it doesn’t hurt. To watch Jed fuck her is twisted enough to get me hard, wanting to watch all the ways he knows how to work her body up.

Now that we both can…I enjoy that we both do. If that makes sense.

“Are we telling our family about this?” Jed asks. “She’s yours as much as she is mine, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide it.”

“Mom, Four, Gen, and now Hardin and Freya already know, anyway. The rest already assume. I guess we just stop hiding it and let them figure it out for themselves.” I shrug. “If that’s cool with you guys.”

“It is. Will be with Lakes, too. But don’t hold back in front of them, man. No more of that shit. We’re all in this as equals now.”

“When the fuck did we stop fighting about this?” I ask, baffled that we’re so adult about it. “Like, don’t we wanna beat the shit out of each other anymore?”

“When we figured out it’d hurt Laken,” Jed laughs. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still beat the shit out of you if the opportunity comes up.”

That’s better. I know we’ll fuck up again eventually and a fight will be inevitable, but for now, it feels good to be mature. As mature as a twenty-year-old can be, anyway. Come at me for being young, assholes. Some people find their forever in high school, and I’m past that phase now, so everyone can fuck off.

Hardin walks out with sweat-slicked hair. “Shit, she’s hornier now than ever. Loving fatherhood so far.”

Jed passes him a smoke even though he’s not much of a smoker. “You guys talk about it yet?”

“Sort of. Freya wants to keep it.”

“What do you think?” I ask.

“She tells me I don’t get a say because it’s her body,” he laughs. “But no matter how hard I’m freaking out, I don’t want to lose out on…I want it.” He lets out a breath. “I want the baby and I want it with her. Fuck, that is the first time I’ve called it a baby. I’m going to be such a shit dad.”

“Good thing we’ll all pick up your slack,” I say, grinning. “Does anyone else know?”

“Just you guys and Lakes.” He looks through the window. “I’m already overprotective. I need you to train me, Jed. I can’t be a pussy father.”

“On it,” Jed agrees. “You want us to keep our mouths shut?”

“Yeah. At least until I tell Mom and Dad and the rest of the assholes. And her asshole brother, who is definitely going to kill me.”

Jed laughs. “Hell yeah he is, but you deserve it. You’ve kept your feelings for Frey pretty surface level, so take the beating with pride and move on.”

“Bo needs to knock Nina up so I’m not doing this shit alone,” Hardin says. “Or one of you put a baby in Lakes.”

Yeah, not touching that one.

“Stop making us want to kill each other,” Jed snaps at him. “We just got to a good place with all this.”

“Fine, not ready to talk about it yet. I’ll shut up.” Hardin butts out his smoke. “You got healthy shit in there? Green things and seeds and shit? I need to make sure she’s nourishing that body.” He doesn’t wait for an answer, going back inside.

“Kade…”

“Don’t.” I shake my head at Jed. “I’m twenty. No kids in my near future. No matter how they come.”

“Do you even want kids?” he asks.