Page 21 of Midnight Heat
The past three months have been a whirlwind. After the first month together, Max asked me to move in with him. I was hesitant, but the way he treats me and the way he shows me how he cares left me no doubt that I want to take that step. He's really great. Attentive, generous, and a savage animal in bed. The sex is just as hot as it was at the beginning, but…
There's this thing that's nagging at me. There are actually a few things that are nagging at me. The kiss thing. Never lasts more than a few seconds, then there's the never talking about the future thing – he always changes the subject – and how he won't open up to me about his past. I know he's been hurt, and a part of me thinks that he needs to talk about it so that we can move forward.
I need to confront him, and I'm terrified of what might happen when I do. I've begged Erik to tell me more about his past, but for once he's tight lipped about it and tells me to talk to Max. I'm drinking a glass of wine when the object of my desire comes walking in through the front door.
"Hey, you took the day off. Why?" he asks, pouring himself a glass of wine and sitting down on the couch next to me.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It was out of the blue. I was on a waitlist for the doctor, and they called me to tell me they had a spot open. Going to the doctor is really stressful for me, so I asked HR if I could have one of my sick days.”
“The doctor? Wha…what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’ve just been feeling very tired, and that's unusual for me."
"What doctor did you go to? Maybe we should get a specialist to look at you?"
Max gets up and starts pacing with his cell phone in his hand.
"I don't think it's anything to worry about, Max. Come sit back down."
He sits down but doesn't let go of his phone. His knee is bouncing nervously.
"I have a doctor I want you to go see. He'll be thorough."
"Stop it, Max. This doctor did a couple of tests and sent me some vitamins and some recommendations on what to eat and what exercises to do to get more energy. I don't need a fancy doctor for that."
"Could you be pregnant?"
"They did a test. It was negative."
"Were you disappointed?"
"Are you?"
"I asked first." He says.
I sigh and think about what I felt when they did blood tests and told me I wasn't pregnant. The feelings that came up were a complete surprise to me, and I'm not sure I'll be able to put them into words right now.
"A little bit sad. A little bit relieved. I mean, we've only known each other for four months. There are a ton of things that we don't know about one another. I don't even know if you want a family. We've never talked about the future."
I grab his hand and squeeze it lightly. I wonder if I should take this opportunity to ask him about the kisses. He might get upset with me, but I need to know what's going on in his head.
"Do you see a future for us, Max?"
He takes a big gulp of his wine and avoids looking at me.
"I like how things are right now." He finally admits.
"Relationships change and evolve. Nothing ever stays the same."
He finally looks down at me, and I see unshed tears in his eyes.
"Can't we take it one day at a time?"
"We can." I hesitate, "I have another question, though."
He stays silent and waits for me.
"Why don't you like to kiss me on the mouth?"