Page 17 of The Betrayal
“Good,” I don’t miss the snarl in his voice as he pushes me onto the bed, his hands grip onto my knees as he widens them so I am at his mercy and within seconds, he is putting me through the paces, his tongue pressed against my clit, his fingers buried deep inside of me causing me to stretch and burn around him. Just when I feel everything in me wound so tight that my back arches off the bed, the sound of foil tears and as quickly as he pulls his fingers out of me, he impales his thick cock deep inside of me.
I gasp, my lungs burning and begging for the air that he so cruelly snatched from me when he shredded every piece of my virginity away with his harsh pounds, fucking me into the mattress. A hand is wrapped around the base of my throat, the other is pinching the skin on my hip as he chases his own high and I lay, mute. All pleasure gone in an instant and all I have is the burning ache between my legs and the escaped tear that rolls down my cheek.
He collapses on top of me, his face buried in my neck as he catches his breath.
“You were better than I expected,” he grins against my skin.
“Thanks,” I plaster on a fake smile as I reach for the blindfold, but he wraps his fingers around my wrist and tugs them away.
“Not until I am gone,” he whispers as he pushes off of me and I hear him suck in a breath. “You were untouched, well, that’s made this evening even better,” and I know he is smirking over my body at taking my innocence, but I don’t even have a minute to let it settle as he buries himself deep inside of me once more.
I sit inside the back of the car completely numb. It’s one thing when you’re behind a computer screen and getting yourself off, but to have them hunt you down and find you to basically use you how they want… maybe if I was more experienced it wouldn’t sting as much as it does, but I feel hollow. My heart aches.
Yes, I did want my first time to be special, but that was before I got kicked out of medical school and wound up as a stripper. Once I was in this line of work, my virginity was somehow tarnished, and I felt embarrassed to still have it.
I am wrapped in the driver’s coat as my body trembles into the seat. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t make myself stop.
“Ma’am,” I see the smartly dressed driver look in the rear-view mirror at me, but I can’t even look at him in the eyes. I feel somehow ashamed of what happened. “Are you okay? Do you want me to take you straight home?” I can hear the concern in his voice. He has every right to be concerned. Maybe.
Shaking my head from side to side, I keep my eyes focused on my clasped hands.
Ross ran for me as soon as I was out the room, but I didn’t look at him. He grabbed me, a little too hard maybe? My face was stained with tears, and marks blemished my skin. He saw it all. He tried to stop me, but I fought him off, pushing and tugging at him until I was free of his grasp which lead to him walking into the room I had come from.
The car rolls to a stop and this time, the driver turns to face me.
“Are you sure you’re okay ma’am?”
My bottom lip trembles and before I give in to the wave of tears that are building behind my eyes, I force my eyes wide and ignore the burn in my throat. My shaky fingers fumble with the inside door handle before I break free of the car and I run into the club, not once looking behind me.
I ignore the commotion and I am grateful that the lights are dim as I keep my head down and walk towards the locker room. I need out of this lingerie.
Not that there is much left of it.
The longer I am alone with my thoughts, the more I am working myself up. He didn’t abuse me. He paid for my time. He paid to use me how he wanted. Yet I am letting it belittle me. He didn’t do anything wrong.
The thought causes a sickness to roll through me. I throw my body through the door of the locker room and I see Sasha standing there, her eyes scope me in one movement before they focus between my legs. Lucy rushes over to me, her hands on the top of my arms as she searches my eyes for something, anything to give her a reason to why I am acting this way.
“Arizona?” Sasha walks towards me, the panic evident on her face whether this was her fault.
“I’m fine,” I finally seem to wake up from my daze.
“Ari… I…”
“Leave me alone Sasha, I am fine. I just need a shower and I need to go home,” my voice trembles but I ignore it. I strip out of my clothes in the middle of the locker room and I don’t even care that they’re all standing here watching me and witnessing me bare.
Willing my legs to move, my muscles ache but it’s fine. Of course, it’s fine. Even if it wasn’t, it was my job, wasn’t it.
And this man wasn’t a stranger. I had bared myself to him numerous times over a screen; if anything, I was asking for him to find me and use me.
It won’t always hurt.
It’ll soon be a distant memory.
Twisting the shower faucet, the pipes bang before the water spurts out the head of the shower. I can hear Lucy and Sasha talking quietly amongst themselves, but I force my eyes shut and silence them in my mind. Stepping under the shower, I let the burning hot water scald me and I welcome the burn on my sensitized skin. Reaching for the soap, I scrub my skin until it’s red raw. Next is my hair, I pull the clip in extensions from my hair and let them fall into the shower tray. Dragging my nails over my scalp, the pain radiates deep inside of me before I scrub the suds into my hair, letting it lather up before I rinse it.
Cutting the water, I step out and walk towards my locker. No one else is in here now apart from Lucy. My skin still covered in soap suds and silky from the water. My brown hair drips down my back and I let the shiver blanket me.
She stands and walks in front of me towards the lockers and pulls my towel out. I stand, numb to it all when she blankets me in warmth.