Page 23 of Kiss and Tell
Maybe… maybe that’s what I need to do. Maybe I need to find someone just for me so I can focus all this pent-up desire on them and get Banner out of my head. Maybe the reason I feel the way I do about him is because I don’t know any better. Maybe if I had someone else, I wouldn’t feel this sense of betrayal over him going from me to her. Maybe I could explain to my heart that all of this is just make-believe.
I stand and walk to the balcony doors thinking about the day we first got here and how sweet Banner was, carrying my bag for me, giving me the room of my choice, laughing and joking with me. I stare blindly out into the night watching as the sky lights up again with another fork of lightning streaking across the sky as images of that day, that Banner, flash through my memory.
It seems like some of what I am going through has been unleashed outside like the storm that has built inside of me has manifested itself outside the glass and stone of my bedroom. It makes the raging thunder and lightning all the sadder somehow.
I am unprepared for the sight of someone else being in the room with me - the room I am supposed to be alone in - so when the image of someone standing behind me is mirrored back to me through glass the first thing I can think is to let out a scream and try the handle of the door I am standing in front of so I can take off running.
“What are you doing? You can’t go out there?!”
The voice is familiar and that is what calms me down enough to spin around and meet the man in my room.
“Why are you in my room? You scared the shit out of me!”
“I can tell. Typically women are screaming and running towards me not away from me.”
I raise my chin and narrow my eyes at him. “That’s because they haven’t met you yet. As soon as they get to know you, I’m sure they’ll want to run the other way too.”
“Ouch.” His mouth tilts up in a smile totally unphased by my insult.
“Why are you in my room?”
“I wanted to talk to you. And you wouldn’t open your door for me. I thought I might try the bathroom before I tried the balcony.”
My eyes widen and I turn to the doors and check the handles. When I find it locked, I give him a smirk and glare, “Why don’t you go back to your room and try it now?”
“You know, I like this side of you. Who knew you had such a wicked little tongue?”
“You don’t get to talk about my tongue or anything else for that matter. You can go. I don’t want to speak to you other than when we are in front of cameras, and I definitely will not be doing any more practice scenes with you.”
This time it’s his eyes that narrow. “With me, huh. So you want to do - what did you call them? - practice scenes with someone other than me?”
“What if I do? What does it matter to you?”
“Well, sweetheart, it’s gonna be awfully hard for you to practice any scenes…,” he comes closer and closer, backing me into the glass doors eventually, “when you are tied to my fucking bed!”
“What?!” I put my hands up to try to slow him down, but he grabs both my wrists, and before I can squeak out another scream he has me over his shoulder and starts walking for the bathroom.
“Banner! What the hell are you doing? Put me down this instant! Banner!” He doesn’t stop until we are in his room, and he locks the door to the bathroom, the balcony, and the main door. He finally dumps me on the fluffy mattress in his room. I scoot to the other side and give him narrowed eyes. “Have you lost your mind?”
“Yes!” he half shouts it and the answer takes me by surprise. “Yes, I have lost my god damned mind. I had everything just the way I liked it. My life went how I wanted it to go…and then there was this little five-foot sex imp that latched onto me and boom, no more order, no more control, no more nice, neat existence.”
I’m not sure that he is talking about me, but I do know he isn’t talking about Rachel. She’s much taller than that.
“I’m five three…and a quarter, I’ll have you know.”
He looks at me like I might be the one who lost her mind.
“I assume you’re speaking about me, blaming me, for how you act, which is a real dick move by the way. I’m not the person who started this shit. I just wanted to do my job! I just wanted to work with you! Then you go off on how I’m nothing but a baby, and I have to have an intimacy coordinator because the baby hasn’t ever done anything and doesn’t understand what she’s doing.”
He opens his mouth but all the hurt I have bottled up because of all the shit he’s put me through overflows, and I don’t want to put the lid back on it. I come around the bed and point my finger at him. I don’t stop until I am standing right in front of him poking him in the chest.
“Then you do this method acting shit and kiss me like you want me which is an even bigger dick thing to do than blaming me for your problems. You… you stink! If I had known the real you, I wouldn’t have taken this job. I would have run the other way as fast as I could! In fact, this is it! After this movie, I’m done! I don’t want…”
My tirade is cut off mid-rant because lips that have been seared into my memory land on mine. Arms come up around me and pull me in tight before his tongue invades my mouth. I should pull his hair, beat his chest, do whatever it takes to make him let me go, but instead of doing what I should I find my hands in his hair pulling him closer and using my tongue to find some dominance in all of this. If this is the way he wants to assert his authority then I will be damned that I am going to give it to him.
When he pulls back from the kiss, his eyes are stormy blue and rake over me. He pushes me, causing me to lose my balance and fall on the bed behind me. Instead of giving me time to roll to the other side, he is following me down, so he ends up on top of me.
He wraps his hand around my throat, “You have no idea, do you? You have no clue.”