Page 118 of House of Ashes

I bit my lip hard. “Of course I trust you. But…I couldn’t risk it. She has us in the palm of her hand now. I’m not worth it, Rhylan, I’m not worth the ill will of an entire House when you need to—”

“Stop.” He put a finger to my lips. “You’re worth what I say you’re worth. I don’t want to hear the words ‘I’m not worth it’ from you ever again.”

“But—”

“Quiet. I would happily drag Chantrelle to the Scar of the World and throw her in without a moment’s hesitation, because I say you’re worth it. And all I want from you—the one single, tiny thing I want—is for you to stop hiding. Be honest with me. For Naimah’s fucking sake, just tell me when you’re hurt or if someone is threatening you, and let me fucking handle it.”

I swallowed past the hard lump in my throat. “This is all my fault…I forgot to tell the Eyrie-Master not to touch the saddle! How can you care about me right now when you…”

“Sera, I am on the edge of losing all control.” Rhylan gazed up at me, steam puffing into the air with every carefully-enunciated word. “If you say that this is your fault, or that you’re not worth it, or any other ludicrous wyvernshit again, I swear to all the gods I will shift right here and now, fly back to Kirion, and I will smear Chantrelle all over her godsdamned eyrie.”

I kept my mouth firmly shut, because I believed him beyond a shadow of a doubt.

“Now. I want your solemn word that you’ll stop all this. Just…fucking…tell me. All right?

I nodded. It was safer than speaking.

“Good. Thank you. I just…” He bowed his head over my hands, still holding them clasped tightly in his own. “You don’t have to stand alone anymore, Sera. The obsessive training, your shoulder injury, not being able to sleep in a bed, now this…I hurt you on our first flight, I know. I didn’t know what else to do to bring you here. But I promised you then that I would do everything in my power to keep you safe, to keep that from happening again. And I want you to promise me that you won’t hide these things because you think—gods, because you’ll think you’re weak.”

He squeezed my hands hard. “It’s not weak to lean on someone. To have someone on your side. I wish I could make you understand.”

“I do,” I said hoarsely. “But I never could before…it’s so hard now, Rhylan.”

“I know.” He looked up at me again, mastering himself. “One step at a time. Just tell me. That’s all.”

He leaned in, his lips brushing mine in a feather-light stroke. I wanted to promise. I wanted to give him every assurance that I would do exactly as he asked.

But I had never had friends. I had never relied on someone outside my bloodline.

And to show any soft underbelly, to give in to the desire to let a dragon fight my battles…I had always sworn to myself that I would never let anyone but a mate glimpse the fear and weakness within me, but…

But the lines had become so blurred. Every day that I spent here, letting Rhylan past my defenses, was another day that they saw the things I had always strove to hide behind an impenetrable mask.

Now that mask was long gone, and there was no going back.

And I no longer knew who was behind it.

Chapter

Twenty-Six

There was a light tap on the door, and though Rhylan didn’t move, I instinctively flinched back from the kiss.

Kirana pushed it open, cradling jars and clutching pristine white linens. Her gaze flicked between us, but she set her jaw and came in.

“We need to clean it,” she said softly, sitting beside me. Rhylan made room for her, but he didn’t release my hands. “At least it’ll heal fast, with so much of the nutrient tonic in you, but I don’t want to risk scarring. You really should’ve cleaned this up before letting it sit for so long.”

She uncorked a jar and dipped in a handkerchief-sized linen, and began gently wiping the crusted blood off my cheek. Rhylan stroked his thumb over my wrists as she worked, his grip tightening ever so slightly whenever I winced at the sting of it.

Tears stung the back of my eyes by the time she began the application of a balm she assured me would prevent scarring, and only when she was done did I give voice to the thoughts I’d been stewing over the entire time.

“Rhylan…Kirana…if this is all over…” The words wanted to stick in my throat, sickening as they were to say. “You’ll never have justice for Loralei now.”

Rhylan climbed onto the bed next to me. His jaw was set, eyes flickering. “It’s not over. Not until I’ve killed Tidas. Not until I see you on the throne.”

I glanced at him, unable to hide my disbelief. “She knows we’re breaking the Law.”

“Does she?” he asked, his voice flat. “Did she say that?”