Page 36 of Redeem

“What is this?” he asked.

“Beef stroganoff. Do you like it?” I said.

He nodded quickly. “Yeah.”

“Would you tell me if you didn’t?” I asked, humor clear in my voice.

He looked at me. “No. But it’s good.”

“Thank you.”

We went quiet again, but this silence was more comfortable. Soon, though, I found myself speaking.

“This old lady taught me how to make it,” I said.

Ciprian kept eating, but I saw his request that I continue.

“She and her husband were religious, said it was their duty to help the less fortunate. A lot of people said stuff like that to me back then. But they meant it. They were nice people,” I said.

“What happened?” Ciprian asked.

“The old lady got sick. She had a stroke or something. Her husband had to take care of her, which meant the state didn’t think he could take care of me too.”

When I finished, I shrugged, not nonchalant exactly, but the hurt of that time had passed, and now, I was just grateful for what that kind couple had given me.

As I was grateful to have Ciprian to share it with.

Sixteen

Ciprian

After our meals, it had become our pattern that I would join Dana in her bed, where we would make love all night.

That I had crossed that line once, continued to do so each day was a source of shame, something I knew I shouldn’t be doing. And yet, I was happier than I’d ever been in my life.

I usually moved on automatic, found myself in Dana’s room before she did sometimes. But tonight I went to the small room on the first floor that Dana had made into a makeshift guest room.

She’d tried to apologize but I wouldn’t hear it, never wanted to hear those words from her.

I didn’t deserve them, and I never would. Seeing that picture today had reminded me of that.

Dana in her beautiful white dress, looking so young, so hopeful, her arm tucked in that of the man she’d wanted to build a life with. A man whose life I’d taken.

I brushed my hands over my head, frustrated, sickened with myself and what I had done, what I continued to do each day.

The house was coming along. Not as fast as Dana had hoped, but we’d done a lot of work. And she’d changed. She smiled more now, didn’t seem quite so weighed down as she had before.

Which meant I’d done almost all I’d intended to. There was no reason to stall. I needed to tell her, and then I needed to leave.

“Ciprian.”

The sound of Dana’s softly whispered voice through the sturdy door drew my attention. I walked over to the door and opened it, felt my heart skip a beat when I found her standing there, her dark eyes shining up at me.

“Can I come in?”

That was a terrible idea, but I stepped aside and opened the door farther. As Dana walked in, my eyes were drawn to her. She wore one of my T-shirts, which was so long, it nearly reached her knees and thin enough that I could see the dark tips of her breasts and make out the rounded curves of her body.

I wanted her instantly, but then, I always wanted Dana.