Page 77 of Craving Chaos

Mari: I’m glad you reached out. I’ve missed you.

God, I hate this.

Me: Same. Looking forward to seeing you.

If the best thing about short hair is not hindering me in a fight, a close second is how easy it is to do. No matter if I’m going to a wedding or grabbing lunch with friends, my routine is essentially the same. One look. No fuss.

No fancy updos for me today, but I do take a bit more time on my makeup. Oran and Lina are getting married, and Renzo will be there. I’m going to tell him how I feel. I took the two weeks I’d promised myself to think it through, and I’m sure of my decision. I want to be with him.

I’m so eager to finally see him again that my palms sweat while I get ready. I’m dressed and pacing my living room a full two hours before I need to start the trek from the city out to Staten Island for the wedding. That’s when the text comes in.

Mari: Hey, I was able to get back early. Want to meet up?

This is perfect! I can talk to her then go to the wedding with answers.

Me: Yeah, Brew House in ten?

Mari: Can we make it an hour?

I can’t imagine our visit will last more than an hour, which is when I need to leave for the wedding. It’ll be cutting things close, but it’s doable. I’m desperate for answers. I’d rather use this time to talk to her than let it linger a minute longer.

Me: Works for me, see you then.

She hearts my text, setting our date. All I need to do is change dresses to something that will conceal a gun, and I’m good to go.

CHAPTER 45

RENZO

I wouldn’t have rushed back from Canada for the wedding if it weren’t for Shae. Oran seems like a decent guy, but his wedding didn’t trump my need for answers. Shae, on the other hand, trumps everything.

I haven’t seen her in weeks. The wait has been killing me while also being exactly what I needed. I know what I want without a doubt. Tonight, I tell Shae that she’s mine. And as an added bonus, I’ve returned from Canada with information.

I show up early at the gardens where the wedding is being held and spend the next half hour scouring arrivals for short dark hair and mountains of sass. I know she’ll be here. It’s her brother’s wedding, after all.

I had hoped to get her alone before the ceremony, but as time ticks down, I know that isn’t going to happen. I should have anticipated she might be in the wedding party. I tamp down my impatience and wait for the telltale music change to signal the bride's arrival. A teenage girl walks down the aisle—someone I’ve never met before—and then the bride makes her walk with an old woman at her side. That’s it. No customary parade showing off the bride’s extensive tribe of girlfriends. Interesting. And disappointing. Where the fuck is Shae?

By the time the ceremony is over and I can get access to one of the Byrnes, we’ve moved to the reception site in a nearby tent with my temper perched on a knife’s edge. I’ve been so distracted that I’ve hardly given two thoughts to Sante. I brought him with me to see his sister, Noemi. I wish I hadn’t. The kid thinks I haven’t noticed he’s been sipping from a flask. I see him, but I don’t have the capacity to care at the moment. The second I get a chance to snag Conner, I pull him aside and ask about Shae.

“She texted earlier saying she got caught up at a meeting, and I haven’t had a chance to look at my phone since.” He pulls out the device. “Yeah, she texted thirty minutes ago and said she’s following a time-sensitive lead.”

“You’re not worried something’s wrong? She missed her brother’s wedding.”

Conner levels me with a stare that says, really? He types out a text, then chuckles at the response before showing me the screen.

Conner: proof of life

She answers with a picture of her hand flipping the bird.

“She’s fine. You know Shae.”

I do, but that doesn’t make me feel better. Her missing the wedding doesn’t sit right. I know she’d want me to trust her, however, so I dig deep and ignore the skin-crawling feeling of needing to do something. I don’t eat or dance. I sit in a chair and watch the crowd. I must be putting off quite the vibe because no one interrupts my brooding. My eyes cut to the tent entrance every so often, desperately hoping to see Shae nonchalantly walk through as though nothing is amiss. Instead, I happen to spot Sante having words with the bride. I’m instantly on my feet.

“Everything okay here?” I ask, eyeing the way Sante has inserted himself between Lina and her young bridesmaid.

“This one’s been spiking my sister’s punch,” Lina clips angrily.

Sante raises his hands innocently. “It’s just a tiny bit of vodka. No need to make a big deal.”