Page 21 of The Packaged Deal

“I can’t be your pack. I love Kandi. I'm not a pack alpha.” My voice tastes like ash and the death of all my happiness. Which isn’t fair because I am so in love with Kandi, she’s just not enough, and I'm not foolish enough to even entertain the idea that I'm enough for her. We’re two free spirits who are walking the same path at the same time. One day, she will find something better and leave me.

I understand that. It’s logical. It makes sense.

Addy is an aberration. He is the sudden riptide tearing away any sense, control and logic that I might have had.

The more I talk, the more he stiffens, until he finally steps aside and moves deeper into his house. “Let yourself out, Sven.”

I stand there, torn between leaving and not, then I follow after him. Stalking through the house I know as well as my own.

“Addy, you're my best friend. We’ve known each other for years.” And it’s only been in the last two years that either of us felt the pull of that sexual component. Before, we were platonic, easily. Our friendship extended to us spending hours together, him crashing in my apartment, me crashing here. And then, one day, I woke up, and I saw him differently. And he was looking at me differently, and I don’t know when it changed, only that it did.

But I can’t lose him.

He snorts from the dark lounge room. “I don't want to be your friend, Sven.”

I stand there helplessly. “You can’t leave.”

“Oh, but I am, and I will. I can’t stay and watch you with her. Refusing to acknowledge that we’re anything.”

“We’re friends,” I stress. “I'm with Kandi, and I love her. She is my partner.”

Addy walks into the light, his eyes almost glowing. “Friends don't fall in love with each other.” He snorts. “You can love us both, Sven. You could. Kandi and I get along. We could work it out because we both love you.”

Shit.

“I can’t keep doing this with you, Addy.”

The hopeful expression on his face shutters, and he turns away, filling up a glass with clear liquid. Probably vodka.

“Which is why I'm leaving,” he says as if he’s announcing his clothing choice.

“FUCKING DAMNIT!” I howl.

He doesn’t flinch, but Adrian Schultz is a hard alpha. On the surface, he’s cold and cruel, a lone alpha with no friends and no desire for anything but to hone his craft. To me, Addy is warm like the sun. He’s life, he’s a man who understands me on such a level that being around him is effortless. He is my best friend, and he’s also the alpha I fell in love with.

But I can’t have a pack. I've done that before, and the aftermath left me crippled. The only thing that helped was working until I couldn’t move anymore. Training until I was too tired to think. Following orders that I couldn’t trust myself to make.

I don’t want to go back there, I can’t. I barely made it back alive.

I approach him slowly, wrapping my arms around his middle, and laying my head on his shoulder.

“I can’t let you leave,” I whisper.

“You can’t stop me,” he says back easily, and I hear the emotion he’s trying to hide. And I’m sorry. His arms lift to hold me, and damn, but I love the way we fit together.

For a long moment, I just listen to his heartbeat and feel the warmth of him.

“I can. And I'm sorry.” I hate that I'm doing this, I hate that he’s forced me.

“You can what?”

“I can stop you. I have to. I'm sorry, oh, Addy, I'm so fucking sorry, but I refuse to lose you.”

Addy stiffens. “For what? How could you possibly stop me now?”

“She’s our omega, Addy, and if you leave her, she’ll be alone.”

I draw back. The shock that crosses his face is something I expect to see. What I don’t expect is the satisfaction and the hunger.