Page 47 of The Packaged Deal
“You said no, of course,” I say without thinking.
Kandi stills. “Why would I say no to her? Of course, I kissed her. She tastes like blackberries. Sweet and tart. But she’s sulking because I wouldn’t kiss her the way she wanted.”
“And how was that?” I ask.
“With surrender.”
We all sit silent on that, absorbing the painful demands our omega is having on us.
“I mean, she’s not that bad. She’s adorable and really quite beautiful,” Kandi says out loud. “She tastes amazing, and she feels incredible. It’s just-”
“It’s just?” Adrian asks with a protective snarl that threatens violence.
“I’m not her alphas,” Kandi says flatly. “I’m a beta. No matter how hard I try, I can’t give her a knot. I can’t ease her biology. I can try. Fuck, it’d be fun to see if I could, but at the end of the day, it’s you two who got lucky with the genetic lottery.” Kandi snorts and wraps her arms around her knees. “She’s got no filter, but underneath that exterior of confidence she’s throwing at the world, I think she’s really lonely.”
“Is there a point to this, Kandi?” Adrian growls.
It should be weird sitting here with them. My ex-girlfriend and the man I love. But it’s not. For a moment, I indulge in the fantasy that I can have them both, where we can live in the world the omega painted. But, inevitably, the memories slam into my head, bringing their usual mixed bag of shame, disappointment, grief, and fear.
“I guess the point I’m getting at boils down to one question. Are you going to take care of her heat?” She is so blunt. I’ve always loved that aspect of her. In that way, the four of us are perfect for each other. No, scratch that. Where did that thought come from? “If you aren’t, I’m going to contact Hazel and see if I can find a rent-a-pack or something.”
I expect Adrian to say no. To say he’s going to find another way. To tell Kandi to contact the alphas. I sit tense, straining to hear his answer.
“Yes, I’m going to take care of it,” Adrian says softly. “If anyone else touches her, I’ll be forced to kill them.”
You and me both. But it’s such a relief to hear him say it out loud.
Addy’s refusing to look at me, so I know he knows I’m upset with him. Am I upset he’s going to be with her? Yes. Because I want him to want me. I want him to stay devoted to me. Even though I can’t and won’t have him. Even though I’m jealous that he can have her, and I can’t. It’s so selfish and greedy, but I can’t bear to lose him, and I think if this relationship unfolds with this omega, I think I will lose him.
And Kandi.
The grief chokes my throat closed and flashes of my past flicker in my mind. I’ll be alone again. The thought sends my mind reeling into the past.
“We should send her back to her mother.” I don’t know why I say it, god knows I don’t mean it. The instant coldness I get from my companions tells me I’ve made a serious mistake. There’s no need for them to say it. “I didn’t mean that. I, no. That was wrong. I didn’t mean that at all,” I say flatly. “Shit, this whole fucked up affair.”
“All right, boss, let’s talk work, then, since you can’t be nice,” Kandi says with a wintry smile. She is the queen of smiles that look perfectly polite while her expression tells you where the nearest cliff you can jump off is.
“Okay.”
Adrian goes to leave, but I reach out, putting a hand on his thigh.
“Stay.”
“Are you going to stick to your promise?” Adrian’s eyes bore into me, leaving me feeling raw and ashamed.
I hesitate a moment too long, and with a sniff, Adrian pushes my hand off his thigh and stalks away from us.
“You really need to just work shit out with him,” Kandi says thoughtfully. “It’s okay to love multiple people, you know.”
“It would be too messy. He deserves better.” I dismiss the conversation quickly, pushing all my emotions back into a box and slamming the lid shut on them.
Kandi stiffens. I rethink my last sentence and groan.
“That’s not what I meant. I mean, he deserves a pack, an omega.”
“Which you have right here in front of you. I don’t understand why you won’t give this a go?” Kandi hisses wrathfully. “Damn it, Sven, most people dream of an opportunity like this. You can have all three of us!”
Just the thought of having all three of them makes me sweat and has bile racing up my throat.