Page 59 of Good Enough
“Nope, not happening.”
“It’s embarrassing.”
“Kubrick, I’ve heard your mouth run a million words per second. I’ve heard you say some of the raunchiest, most inappropriate, and downright evil things, all of which are a major turn-on, by the way. Suddenly, this afternoon, after what we just did, you’re self-conscious. And that’s concerning to me. So what has got you so hung up? Please. Tell me so I can make you feel better.” A thought occurred to him. “Is this about the diner conversation and us being ‘mismatched’? Are you worrying about being ‘good enough’ for me?”
Her fears came out in a tidal wave. “I’m thirty-five and clueless. I’ve wanted you from the moment I saw you. Honest to God, your voice made me think of hot fudge, and I wanted to lick every goddamn inch of you like you were a spoon. Eighty million things are running through my head that I’d like to do to you, with you, things I’ve never even given a second thought to before. Now I’ve had about thirty minutes of you, and I’m worried I’ll do something dumb and make you back off because it’s childish, or needy, or clingy, or freaky, or whatever. Like this stupid, unfiltered confession. You’re so beautiful and I’m so, not. I don’t understand why you’re interested in doing this with me. I have next to no experience, and you’ve been with tons of women—”
He grabbed one of her hands and pressed it against his hard length, guiding her to stroke him through the material covering him.
“Fuck, what are you feeding that thing?” she whispered.
His lips slid to her jawline, then her mouth, as he mumbled, “Virgin sacrifices?” When he came up from kissing her thoroughly into oblivion, he dragged her hand below the elastic of both the track pants and his tight-fitting boxers. His voice was breathy when he pushed his hips forward into her hand and asked her, “Does this feel like I’m not turned on by you? That you’re not ‘good enough’?”
Slowly, she shook her head.
“Good. Because I was thoroughly stunned by you the moment I walked into that conference room, and I was totally turned on the moment you put us in place with your camera catches.” His voice dropped to a pained whisper. “And, baby, I was one… hundred… percent… fucked the minute you licked that fork clean of chocolate in Alice’s. All I could think about was pouring chocolate on my cock and you wrapping those pink lips around my dick and sucking it clean.
“You are the sexiest woman I’ve ever known, and it’s going to take every bit of control within me to wait until tomorrow night to fuck you so hard and so long that you get to the point you can’t move because you’re exhausted and deliciously sore.” He groaned, and his mouth moved to nip the lobe of her ear. “Know what else I’d do? I’d take you home, and I’d fuck you on every surface all night long. When morning came, I’d make you breakfast and feed you while you lay like a queen in my bed. And I’d be whispering in your ear how fucking great a time I had with you.”
What the hell? He’d break his rules for me?
His skin was so soft to the touch but solid in her grip. He radiated intense heat from every pore, even in the slight dampness of her bedroom. Holding his cock in her hand, listening to the dirty talk coming out of his mouth, knowing that being with her made him respond this way was empowering. It was like someone had opened the doors to a cage, and she was free for the first time. He made her feel free. Free to take what she wanted and be whom she wanted. With that, her decision was made.
19
MARCH 6TH
Waters
She’d caught him by surprise when she sat up in the bed, pulling on his arms for him to sit up as well. Normally able to hide his emotions, right now, he was incapable of schooling his face into a detached mask.
What is she going to do?
She was raised up on her knees, her hands resting on top of his shoulders. Holding his breath, he watched as she leaned down and softly kissed the ends of each of the three Kraken tentacles at the top of his right pec. Her lips were burning against his already fevered skin. Slowly, she traveled around his body, crawling around him, tracing the edge of a fourth tentacle across his clavicle with her tongue, over his shoulder to the body that covered the entire expanse of his upper back. He kept trying to reach for her so he could put his mouth on her as well, but she brushed his hands away.
He gave up the fight. It just felt too damn good, especially with her bare breasts brushing against his skin. “Fuck, baby. Use that hot little mouth on me. Anywhere. Everywhere. Don’t stop,” he groaned.
She steadied herself by placing her hands on his shoulders, continuing to trace the new tentacles curling over his other shoulder. When she reached the end of the Kraken, the other four tentacles strangling a bleeding human heart decorated with the letter “S,” he was speaking softly, nonsensically to her, finally able to anchor his hands in her hair and hold her close as she sucked at the skin. “Mark me, Kubrick.” He hissed at the sting of her teeth biting down on his nipple, followed by the lapping of her tongue to remove the sting, and finally, the cool breath she blew across his wet skin. She pulled away, admiring her handiwork at the small love bite she left on his chest.
Her index finger traced the heart in the tattoo.
“The ‘S’ is for Sarah.” She looked up at him. He wavered, but it felt like he had to tell her something. Maybe it would ease if he said it out loud. “She was—”
That same finger went to his lips. Once he was silent, her palm went flat to his chest over the letter. “You’re carrying this loss and pain with you every day. Therefore, whoever it was, this person is important to you. I respect that.”
It was then he saw her truly notice for the first time the other marks on his body, and confusion spread across her face. Softly, she touched each one as she investigated, her expression becoming more intense with each brush of her fingertips. He swallowed hard as she did, watching her face intently for disgust, waiting for the inevitable questions. He really didn’t want to have this conversation with her. Anyone else, he’d redirect them. Any other woman, he’d simply get out of the bed, dress, and leave. But he found he couldn’t do that with her. However, the situation was not pretty, and he wasn’t sure how either of them would react to his answers.
She’d moved on to his back, and he heard a soft gasp, then a fluttering over his skin, not even enough to be called a touch, at where his right kidney should be. He swallowed again, looking over his right shoulder at her. The soft, warm touch of her lips dropped onto the jagged scar that reached from the base of his shoulder blade to disappear below the waist of his pants, then her arms came around his shoulders from behind, hugging him tightly. She buried her face in his neck, and he felt wetness hit his skin. His hand reached up to grab her forearm that stretched across his chest, holding it lightly, and he dropped a kiss to it. No question came.
She’s giving me an out. She knows I might not want to talk about it, so she’s just showing me she hurts for me. Christ, how can she possibly think she’s not “good enough”?
“Afghanistan.” Clearing his throat, he swallowed again, then continued to speak. “The details are pretty grim, but the short of it is, I lost a kidney. Most people have their scar in the front, but my circumstances were a little unique.”
Silence followed. Just a kiss pressed behind his ear. She just held him close.
Good goddamn.
“It’s why I had to leave the Navy. You can’t have only one kidney and be a SEAL.” His thumb stroked her forearm. “Tell me what you're thinking, baby.”