Page 37 of Broken Desires
Liam Ashford, the guy I’ve been for the past three years, is all in.
But Prince Alexander William of Denmark? That’s a whole other story.
I know I should tell her the truth, but somehow, I keep putting it off, telling myself I’ll just enjoy this lie a little bit longer.
Chapter 13
Nessa
No matter how much I try to downplay it to myself or to the blank document on my computer, this trip to Vegas is shaping up to be one of the most thrilling experiences of my life. Knowing Liam has planned it all just adds to the excitement. Since he showed up in California, things have felt different, or maybe they’ve always been this way, and I’m just now willing to admit it. Liam isn’t just a friend with benefits; he’s the man I’m falling in love with. He’s someone I want to open up to completely, trusting him not to use my vulnerabilities against me.
But then reality crashes back in, reminding me that in less than five months, he’ll be gone. Every reminder feels like a knife twisting in my chest, a pain far deeper than any I’ve felt before because it’s something beyond our control. It’s like we have an expiration date that we’re both trying to ignore.
I’ve always been the type to look at things logically, probably because life’s thrown some pretty wild curveballs my way: a crazy family, health issues, dreams that crashed and burned.
But moving to Silverbrook? That was like hitting the reset button. I found an amazing group of friends who have my back no matter what, classes that actually get me excited to learn, and then there’s Liam. He’s pretty much everything I’ve ever wanted, even if it’s just for now. So, I’m letting myself hope a bit, peeking at international exchange programs, especially ones in England.
I haven’t talked to Liam about this yet. Not sure if I ever will. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure I want to go through with the exchange program, but what really makes me hesitate is thinking about Liam’s reaction. The thought of suggesting we could keep whatever this is going beyond our expected end date is downright scary. What if he doesn’t feel the same way about us, or what if it complicates things? For the first time, I find myself holding back, afraid of his response, yet there’s a part of me that really wants to find out if we have a chance at something more lasting.
I stare at the blank page on my screen, feeling restless. I thought diving into an essay might distract me until it’s time to head to the airport for Vegas, but if anything, it’s just cranking up my anxiety. Giving up on schoolwork, I glance at the overstuffed suitcase by my bed, a clear sign of my pre-trip nerves making me pack way more than necessary for just a couple of days.
My watch buzzes, pulling me out of my thoughts, and I’m thankful for the distraction.
Poppy: How about we head out early? Eva’s set on going with Cherry Bomb, and she’s worried Cole might mess with her car.
I can’t help but laugh to myself. Leave it to Cole to make us all paranoid.
Me: Smart, I wouldn’t put it past the psycho.
Eva’s choice to go to Vegas has me puzzled, even if I suspect she’s mostly doing it for Poppy. Ever since the break, there’s been a noticeable change in her relationship with Cole, somewhat mirroring the evolution of my own connection with Liam. But her agreeing to this trip feels like she’s taking a giant leap, trusting him on a whole new level. I know she still loves him—I’m deaf, not blind—but I sense a layer of apprehension. It’s not necessarily fear of Cole—I hope not—but more like a fear of getting too caught up in him. And since California, I’ve been feeling a similar trepidation about getting lost in what Liam and I have.
As I grab my suitcase and handbag, ready to go, I’m greeted by the sight of the girls, their oversized luggage in tow, mirroring my own mix of excitement and nerves.
“You sure you don’t mind me rooming with Ethan?” Poppy reiterates, probably for the tenth time.
I shake my head, offering her a reassuring smile, and pull her into a rare hug. I’m genuinely thrilled for her. “Why would I mind? Seeing you happy makes me happy.”
Poppy’s eyes well up with unshed tears as she blinks them away. “I really am happy.”
It’s moments like these, surrounded by friends who’ve become my chosen family, that I’m reminded of how much we’ve all grown together. We don’t take each other for granted; instead, we cherish and respect each other’s feelings, making every step of this journey worthwhile.
Once we’re out of the apartment, I don’t have much time to think about anything except the trip ahead.
“Nervous?” I lean over to whisper to Eva as our flight begins, catching Cole’s curious glance from the luxury of first class.
“You think I’m crazy, right?” she whispers back, excitement and apprehension in her eyes.
“Not necessarily,” I reply, trying to offer reassurance.
“No, not you,” Poppy interjects from beside us. “Him, on the other hand…” She nods toward Cole, sparking a quiet laugh among us that doesn’t go unnoticed by our fellow passengers, particularly the unamused lady sitting ahead of us.
The flight passes in a blur of conversation and laughter as we eagerly discuss our plans for Vegas. With only one full day there, we’re all intent on making the most of every moment. The anticipation builds with each mile we fly, our shared excitement an undercurrent to the hum of the plane’s engines. It’s a special kind of thrill, knowing we’re heading into an adventure that promises to be unforgettable, both as a group of friends and for whatever Liam and I might explore together.
Landing in Vegas, the energy shift is immediate. Even from the taxi window, the vibrant lights of the Strip seem to dance, welcoming us into its embrace of endless night. My heart races as we pull up to our hotel, the grandeur and sparkle of it all feeling like we’ve stepped into another world.
At the check-in desk, I hand over my ID and credit card, trying to appear more seasoned and less like the wide-eyed tourist I feel inside. The receptionist taps away at the computer, then looks up with a smile. “Miss Caldwell and Sinclair. You’ve been upgraded to one of our suites courtesy of a special arrangement.”
Eva and I look at each other, momentarily speechless, the surprise upgrade adding an extra layer of excitement to our arrival.