Page 9 of Broken Desires
I shrug, a hint of longing in my voice. “They’re close. They complement each other. It could be what the team needs.” Inwardly, I feel a twinge of envy for their carefree dynamic. My own semblance of freedom has always been bound by conditions and expectations. I am not a fool. I know these four years were an illusion of freedom, and sometimes I regret it. It feels almost sadistic to be so close to the real thing and not be able to touch it.
He flips open his book to the players’ stats—confidential information that only I have access to. “Okay, we need to pick the new recruits for the starting lineup on Sunday.”
For the next thirty minutes, I’m engrossed in the task at hand, temporarily forgetting about home, responsibilities, and a certain wild girl.
After we finalize the lineup, I decide to hit the gym. Maybe a weight training session on top of my morning run will help clear my head. When I arrive, some teammates are already there. I notice the atmosphere subtly shift; the laughter dies down a bit, and the training intensifies.
Internally, I sigh as I set down my bag. Despite my efforts, I’m still seen as an authority figure. They don’t react to me like they do to Coach, but there’s still a noticeable change.
Ethan is already there, which surprises me. “Fell off the bed?” I joke, setting up on the bench press next to him.
He snorts, then hesitates. “You could say that. I… never mind, it’s stupid.”
A flicker of irritation crosses my mind, but I press on. “No, go on. I’m not all business.”
I think Ethan notices the edge in my voice because he throws me a curious look. “No, I know that, but you’re always so… pragmatic; besides, what kept me awake is genuinely stupid.”
“Pragmatic… Is that a nice way to say boring?” I mean to say it in a joking tone, but I don’t think I managed as well as I wanted.
Ethan sighs, slumping a little on his bench. “It’s just… I don’t know if you’d get it. It’s about Poppy. She agreed to go to the varsity ball with me.”
“Oh!” Okay! Girl problem. That I can handle… I think. “That’s great, isn’t it?” I ask, trying to be encouraging.
“I— Yes, of course, but… She’s so skittish, and that’s my one chance… if I fuck it up.” He rubs his neck, a sign of his nervousness.
“Why would you fuck it up?”
He grimaces. “I promised to find dates for her roommates. Cole’s taking Eva, whether she likes it or not.”
I tense up at the mention of all three roommates. “Wait, all of them?”
“Yeah, Morticia might be tough to match, but Peters might take her,” he says, nodding toward the redhead on the treadmill.
“Don’t call her that,” I snap, then quickly soften my tone. “Poppy wouldn’t like that.”
Ethan rolls his eyes. “Yeah, well, she threatened to hex me and have my balls rot and fall.” His eyes narrow. “Why are you smiling?”
I can’t help but smile at the thought of Nessa’s wild spirit. “You have to admit, that’s pretty funny.”
“Umph—It’s not your dick being threatened!”
I chuckle. “Fair point. But listen, Ethan?—”
He cuts me off. “I’m not gonna ask you to break your no-student rule, even if it’s just for one night.”
Confused, I frown. “What?”
“I won’t ask you to take her. Don’t worry about it,” he says with a laugh.
I try to hide my disappointment as I reach for the weights. “Alright, let’s focus on training. Your arms are looking a little skinny.”
As I start my set, a part of me wishes he had asked. Maybe, just maybe, I was ready to break my own rule for her.
I’m getting ready for class when the sounds of an argument reach my ears. Pushing open the door, I find Ethan and Cole in the middle of a heated discussion.
Ethan rolls his eyes, pushing a black bank card back toward Cole. “Come on, man, don’t overplay your role. I need you to?—”
Cole slams his hand down on the counter, the playfulness in his eyes replaced by sharp seriousness. “Buy the fucking dress, Ethan, and move on.”