Page 45 of Bubblegum Pop
Alphas that didn’t knot an omega during rut had a higher risk of going rogue and slipping into madness. It was the same for us. If omegas didn’t get knotted, we became animals. I’d had enough fuckboy guests torturing me, depriving me during my heats; my alphas didn’t have to suffer, too.
“I’m sorry. I told you before about Zeus going rogue. I can’t bear to see him snap and lose his mind again. He needs to knot. We just need some space. It’s really not you.”
Blinking slowly, my chest rose as I pulled in a deep breath and folded my arms. He was seriously giving me the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ excuse.
I’d thought before it would be better for them to not be scent matched to an omega like me, one who had to fuck for a living, making stuck like I was. But I also couldn’t bear the thought of rejection.
“I never expected you to not have sex with other omegas, not with my job,” I said carefully, though it hurt to actually acknowledge it.
“We wanted to do that. To just be with each other,” he said gently as he stroked my calf, finishing the second shoe. “You’re our only omega.”
I huffed as he stood. “How can you say that to me when you’re leaving?”
I told myself in the past I didn’t care. I knew they didn’t fuck other people. Unlike me. It wasn’t fair to expect them not to touch another omega when I was with guests all the time. But it was different. Sort of.
Apollo bit his lip, avoiding my gaze as he rose, stealing my senses by drawing nearer. “I’m not enough for Zeus anymore. He’s close to going rogue again, and I can’t stop him.”
“Then take me.” I gave him a hard glare. The answer was obvious, but they kept running away. “Apollo, we’ve been fighting this for years. I’m exhausted. I don’t care about the contract or Michael or whatever consequences could come. It literally aches not being with you.”
Thankfully, there were only cameras in the rooms, and not recording equipment. As far as I knew, at least.
He lifted his hands, brushing his fingers over the soft skin of my neck, and I stretched, exposing myself and submitting to him instantly. Even the slightest brush from him was like warm sunlight on a winter’s day. Sighing happily, I let myself be completely affected by his alpha aura, and I relaxed as he continued. I might be able to resist alphas when they tried to control me, but I didn't want to resist him.
“I know,” he said. “Of course I know how much it hurts, but there’s only so much we can take. The main reason we haven’t gone rogue is because we have each other.”
I couldn’t let any tears fall. It was too close to showtime to redo my makeup.
“Then why don’t we do it like we planned before? We can find time and meet up in secret.”
Though Benny had caught Zeus almost going down on me six months after we swore we'd behave, and he almost sent the three of them off to Tokyo like he promised.
Apollo’s jaw tightened as he cupped my neck, and he blew out a heavy breath. “I’ve said it so many times, sweetheart. We’d rather be near you and not touch you than never see you again.”
I was trying to control myself, but nothing worked when I was already collapsing inside.
“Don’t I get a choice? Don’t I get to decide?”
“Candy, I—”
“You are my mate, Apollo. I don’t care if we dance around it and avoid the truth every single day. Even if we haven’t bitten each other, you’re mine.”
I moved quicker than he could, pushing his right hand firm on my throat. “The only thing keeping us apart is you. You would have bitten me here already if you didn’t hold yourselves back all the fucking time.”
“That is unfair. Don’t place the blame solely on us.”
“Then let’s make another petition to Benny. Come on. Even if it’s seven-hundred-and-fifty million to release me from the contract, I’ve already earned over five hundred thousand pounds in two years. Maybe that can give us a holiday together or something.”
I never allowed myself to hope for anything in life. But no matter how hard I tried to crush it, I couldn’t stop praying a miracle would happen that would somehow change our situation.
“No. I’m not risking it.” Apollo’s voice was strained as he caressed the line of my jaw. “I’m not risking you, or Zeus and Odin.”
I shook my head, letting him go. “You mean you’re not risking Zeus and Odin. It’s got nothing to do with me,” I said bitterly. Anger vibrated in me, sending blood rushing through my veins.
“Candy, please. Try to see it from our perspective.”
“Or why don’t you see it from mine? You’re not the one fucking strangers every night. You’re the ones who chose to not have sex with other omegas. You’re the ones who are choosing to leave because of it.”
“I need to—”