Page 54 of Ice Cold Heart
“What’s the matter? A little too real for you? A little too tempting? If the library’s not to your liking, tell me what you want. I’ll make it happen. Use your words, city girl.”
My spine straightened at the challenge. He knew I’d panicked. Of course, he knew. I pushed away from the wall and yanked my hand free. If he was banking on me backing down instead of verbalizing my fears, he’d chosen the wrong strategy.
“We can’t keep doing this.”
Cole’s dark eyes bored into me, then he nodded. “You want to end the deal?”
Frustration tightened my jaw. “No. I’m not going to abandon you after I said I’d help, but I can’t keep going back and forth between Cole the charming student and Cole the sex god.”
He raised a brow. “Sex god?”
“Don’t act like you’re not well aware of your advanced skill level.”
“I don’t see the problem. You sounded like you needed a sex god.”
“It’s not the sex god part, Cole. It’s the talking every day and the missing you and the spending the night sleeping next to you.”
His face softened. “You missed me?”
“I don’t want to miss you. We’re not even in the house yet, and I’m ready to tear your clothes off. I was the fool in a relationship for two years because I couldn’t separate ownership from love, and one night with you throws me right back to being that needy girl. Can’t I just enjoy the freedom I earned to explore my body without getting my emotions trampled again?”
A flicker of understanding lit his eyes. “It doesn’t have to be like that.”
No. I couldn’t deal with him being kind. Sexy, aggressive Cole was one thing, but his kindness cut right to my heart every time. I needed him to understand the threat he represented.
“With you, it does. Cole, I am terrified of letting you get any closer. I don’t have enough data to say if it’s a singular event or if I’d react this way to fucking any hot hockey player. Maybe I shouldn’t shut them down quite so fast in the future.”
All the softness disappeared in a blink. “The only hockey player you’re fucking is me. You need a release? You want to test out your newfound freedom? Use me.”
“That’s the opposite of what I’m suggesting, Cole.”
“Is it? You trust me, you know I can deliver, and you’ve made it very clear you’re not interested in a relationship. No chance of trampling your emotions if we both know exactly where this is going. I won’t hurt you, but I will destroy any guy who touches you.”
The intensity in his words squeezed my chest until I had to suck in a shallow breath. “Our deal?—”
“Remains intact,” he interrupted. “But we’re not limiting the orgasms to finishing an assignment, and we’re making this an exclusive agreement. What do you want, Avery?”
Him. I wanted him. And he was giving me everything I needed as long as I could keep my emotions in check. Could I do that? My track record wasn’t great, but I’d spent my life keeping my reactions locked down. How much harder could this be?
I’d wanted to grow into a person who didn’t flinch at the thought of sex. Cole could help with that. In spades. The rest was on me.
Before I could answer, Dad called my name from inside the house. He broke the spell that had been weaving between us, but the tension didn’t lessen. Cole took a final step, putting us inches from each other when I didn’t move back.
“Want to know a secret?” he asked quietly.
I gave a tiny nod, unable to help myself.
He tilted down, close to my ear, and his voice dropped. “All I’ll be thinking about eating during the meal is you.”
My inner muscles clenched at the rough promise and the knowing smirk he gave me as he moved past me into the house. I’d started this. The day in the library. I could have walked out, but no, I’d had to satisfy my suspicion that he couldn’t possibly live up to his hype.
Stupid. Cole’s hype had nothing on the real thing.
I closed the door and told myself to wait—give his idea time to settle, consider the pros and cons—but deep inside, I knew it was too late. I was going to say yes.
Somehow, I maintained my composure during brunch. We mostly talked about hockey, and it was by far the best conversation I’ve ever had with my father. He spoke passionately, relaxed and smiling, to both of us, and I tried not to remember he’d left me for hockey in the first place.
We only had one little hiccup when Cole dropped his fork. He ducked under the table to grab it, and my eyes widened when big hands spread my thighs so he could press a kiss to my center. Dad was busy eating his food, so he missed the ensuing blush and death glare I leveled at Cole when he reappeared with a wide grin.