Page 25 of The Unseelie Wish
“Hah. That reminds me of a joke—a pirate captain walks into a bar, a ship’s wheel attached to his crotch.” Puck mimed steering a wheel in front of him. “Bartender looks at him, and goes, ‘What’s with the wheel?’”
Alex shut her eyes, pinched the bridge of her nose, and prayed for patience.
“The captain looks at him and goes, ‘Yaarrrr, it’s driving me nuts!’” Puck cackled at his own joke.
“That was terrible.” She kept walking down the path.
“I know. Isn’t it great?” Puck jogged to catch up with her, falling in step beside her, lacing his arm through hers. “Where’re we going?”
“Nowhere.”
“My favorite.” He smiled, looking perfectly content like they were just on a leisurely stroll on a sunny day.
“What do you want, Puck?”
“I wanted to see how my favorite mortal witch was doing, that’s all. Seeing as it’s the last day of your vacation.” He hugged her arm tighter.
“I’m miserable, thanks for asking.” She’d shove him off her, but there wasn’t a point. He was like a hyperactive puppy. One, she suspected he couldn’t help it. And two, she knew even if he could, he wouldn’t want to.
“Well, then, I come with good news that might cheer you up. I don’t think Izael is planning on torturing you anymore. See? Isn’t that nice?” Puck grinned.
“Why not?”
“Well, see, Abigail has threatened Valroy within an inch of his life—or rather, with a few years sleeping on the proverbial sofa—if he screws with you during the remainder of your contract with Izael. So, if Valroy isn’t going to torture you, then Izael has no reason to.”
“Yeah. Great. Love it. Thanks.” She rolled her eyes. That was a bit of a relief. But something told her it wasn’t that simple. “What terrible thing is about to happen to me instead?”
“Mmm, nothing too bad. I promise.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Suit yourself.” Puck shrugged. “Izael won’t hurt you. He’s got it bad for you. He loves you.”
Her jaw ticked. Her mood was only worsening, and she was honestly rather glad that the weather seemed to be matching it. All she needed now was for it to start pouring. “Yeah.”
“That’s…all you’ve got to say? Yeah?” Puck blinked.
“Yup.”
There was a beat of silence before Puck clearly couldn’t take the hint. “But how do you feel about h?—”
“I don’t know!” She yanked her arm out of his grasp. Her patience wasn’t lasting. “I don’t know, okay? Christ. You and Bayodan. You’re obsessed.”
“Love is a big deal in our world. It’s rare. Everything else comes and goes. I suppose that does, too. But when love does bloom, we care.” Puck frowned and walked beside her again, this time keeping his hands to himself.
“Cruinn keeps making that face old people make when they see a young couple in love.” Alex combed her hands through her purple hair, pushing it away from her face. “I enjoy spending time with Izael when he isn’t trying to steal my soul or threatening to torture me. Do I love him? I don’t know. There’s too much going on. He eats people. He wants to steal my goddamn soul. And he wants to use me to end a treaty that is the only thing protecting both the Seelie and Earth. There’s too much at stake to have fucking feelings for him.”
She threw up her hands in frustration, finishing yet another rant. “And I know that’s so hard for you all to understand, but it’s the way it is!”
“Yikes.” Puck laughed once. “Fine, I’ll stop asking. Sheesh.” He muttered something about moody humans under his breath. She let it slide. “I did come with bad news also, though.”
There it was. The other shoe. “The good news is, I’m not going to get tortured. And in exchange…?”
“You need to willingly surrender your magic. Because when you lose your bet with Izael?—”
“If.”
“When you lose your bet with Izael,” Puck continued unfazed, “and your soul belongs to an Unseelie, Valroy can use you to end the treaty anyway. He doesn’t know this yet, but he will, the moment you slip up and turn somebody into a rutabaga.”