Page 190 of Daddy's Pride
As if to prove the point, Elya stuck out his tongue. “I’m not your boy.”
A fresh pang of pain stabbed Brody’s heart, and his smile faded. “No, you’re not.”
“Josiah is.” Elya raised his chin, challenging him.
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Then explain it to me. You pushed Josiah away like he was nothing. Why? Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you’re just scared.”
Elya’s words cut through him like a laceration because they rang with an uncomfortable shade of truth. Brody sighed and pushed himself up from the couch, his muscles stiff and his bones aching. “Scared isn’t the half of it, Elya. Being with me… it’s dangerous for Josiah.”
“Dangerous, how?”
“Josiah’s innocent, creative, beautiful…” Brody’s throat tightened, and his heart constricted with the image of those bright-blue eyes sparkling with unspoken dreams. “He doesn’t need my world crashing down on his. You don’t know what I’ve done. My past—it’s never gone, Elya. It’s only dormant, and if it wakes up…”
“Who says it will?” Elya’s tone had softened slightly, but his eyes were still boring into Brody’s with an intensity that demanded complete transparency. Brody was proud of his roommate. For someone as naturally submissive as Elya, standing up to Brody wasn’t easy.
“I can’t—I won’t—be responsible for risking Josiah’s safety. You don’t know what could happen, but I do.” Brody turned away, bracing his hands against the mantel, the cold marble beneath his palms a stark contrast to the heat of his emotions.
“Shouldn’t Josiah be allowed to make that choice himself?” Elya’s anger dissipated, replaced by a look that suggested he was reading between the lines of Brody’s sparse words, glimpsing the depth of conflict.
“No, because even telling him would bring my mess into his life. He’s light, Elya, and I won’t be the shadow that dims him.” Brody closed his eyes briefly, allowing himself a moment to picture Josiah’s smile, which had the power to unravel him completely.
“Dammit, Brody. Is pushing him away going to keep him safe, or is it going to keep you lonely?”
Brody remained silent, a sentinel amid the chaos of his own making, knowing full well the answer was a twisted vine of both truths.
Elya’s gaze softened, and for a fleeting moment, something like understanding passed over his face—an acknowledgment of the burden Brody carried with him, one that had grown heavier since meeting Josiah.
“Josiah deserves better,” Brody said after a long silence. It was both an explanation and a penance, an admission of his deepest fear—that his tainted history could one day bleed into Josiah’s life and endanger him. But he dared not reveal more, couldn’t afford to let the full extent of his turmoil show. Not when he had so much to lose if anyone ever discovered the truth of who he was.
“Man, I didn’t realize it was eating you up this bad,” Elya said, the fight draining out of him like water swirling down a sink. He leaned against the back of the sofa, arms folded across his chest, a pensive look on his face.
“Josiah is… He’s everything I’ve been trying to avoid and everything I’ve been craving, all wrapped up in one impossible package.” The words tumbled out with the weight of stones.
“I understand it’s complicated, but you can’t keep living in the shadows, Brody. Not when he’s brought such a bright light into your life.”
“You don’t know what I’m up against.”
“I may know more than you realize.”
Brody stiffened at the knowing glint in Elya’s. Subtle yet unmistakable—a hint that Elya had perhaps seen more than Brody intended to reveal.
He narrowed his eyes in quiet scrutiny. “What exactly are you saying?”
“I know that you’re hiding a past that holds secrets you can’t talk about, secrets that have made it necessary to start a new life.”
Brody swallowed. Elya knew then. Or, at least, he suspected. “How did you find out?”
“Let’s just say, as a cop, you learn to read between the lines. And I’ve learned from the best.”
Another cryptic remark, but Brody connected the dots. He groaned. “Milan is Detective Bradbury, your mentor.”
“Yes.”
“That’s how you know about Josiah.”
“Yes. Milan has made it clear he wants to wring your neck.”