Page 66 of Broken Wheels
He snapped his head up, his gaze dark and scary. “There are too many goddamn names,” he snarled. Doc pushed his chair away from the desk, then scraped his fingers through his hair. “Right now I am kicking myself.”
“Why?”
Doc indicated the pad. “I should have gone through all these years ago. Maybe if I hadn’t been so scared, I would’ve been able to see the patterns forming.”
Suddenly he had Dix’s full attention.
“But you’re seeing patterns now?”
Doc nodded. “It’s more than just the government, I’m certain of it. And the more I read, the more certain I become.”
Dix pulled up a chair and sat beside him. “Tell me what you’ve found.”
“My list has eighty-three names, but what’s emerging is a group of people referred to as AS, NL, RV, TN, and EM that seemed to be pulling the threads.” Doc moved his chair closer to the desk. “Listen to these: NL thought a test of a higher population center would be best to start with. EM talked her down, stating that something that large would draw too much attention too soon, and they weren’t ready to proceed.”
“So we know at least one of the group is female.”
Another nod. “Then I found this one: TN stated the toxin wasn’t fast-acting enough. He worried people could escape and alert authorities to what was happening. RV calmed him with the reminder that they’d chosen very rural towns for just that reason. Even if one of them did get away, they would die before reaching any help.” Doc’s face tightened. “They played with people’s lives and deaths, and for what? All these notes, and I haven’t found one mention of the end goal. The only thing I know is they were more than willing to kill to achieve it.”
“Stop it!” Dix snapped.
Doc stilled instantly, gazing at him in obvious surprise.
Dix forced himself to speak calmly. “It’s been less than twelve hours since you started digging around.” He cocked his head. “Unless you always expect to achieve immediate results when you do an experiment?”
The flush on Doc’s cheeks was answer enough. “Well, no but?—”
“There are no ‘buts’ in this scenario, Doc. You’re doing your goddamn best to figure out what’s happening, but you’re working with fragments of information and expecting to put together a full picture.” Dix shook his head. “I don’t have a third of your intellect, but even I know science doesn’t work like that, and that means you have to know it too. So you’re gonna keep doing what you’ve been doing for the better part of today. Take those fragments, slap them together, and from that, you see if you can build it all into something that makes sense.” He patted Doc on the shoulder. “It’s not going to be a fast process, and you have to keep that in mind.”
“But—”
Dix grabbed Doc by the shoulders and turned him around until they faced each other. He looked Doc in the eye. “Remember when we talked about X factors? You’re dealing with the ultimate one here, man. People will always do something so out of the ordinary, you could never have predicted it with unerring accuracy. Now, you’ve found out some things, and that’s amazing. No matter how small you think it is, it’s more than we had earlier. And if you’re patient, you’ll find more, I’m certain. But you’ve been going at it nonstop. Do you want to take a break? I’ll make you something to eat.”
He slumped in the chair. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I’m used to everything being quantifiable, and I hate it when there are unanswered questions.” Doc waved a hand at the pad. “This here? It’s all unanswered questions. Everything I’m dealing with isn’t part of my skillset.” He sighed. “That’s why I work in the lab by myself. I don’t dislike people, I just don’t….” He frowned.
“You don’t get them.”
Doc’s eyes widened, and he nodded. “Yes, exactly. I mean, I like Gary and Michael, but when it comes down to it, they’re a mound of unanswered questions with legs. Like, why did Gary do what he did? There was no logic to it at all. He almost died—he did die—several times. And for what? To keep Michael and Abbas out of the line of fire? Why didn’t he talk to me? Or to you? Why charge in there, alone, no backup, and put himself at risk? Didn’t he think how people would be affected by it?”
Doc was going the right way to end up with a whopper of a headache.
Dix stroked a hand over his cheek. “I can’t tell you for certain why Gary did it. I mean, I kind of get it. We’re bodyguards, and putting ourselves in danger is part of the job. But what Gary did? There was no need for it. That’s just my opinion, and it’s only the gift of hindsight that allows me to say it. You wanna know what I think was uppermost in Gary’s mind? The overwhelming fear that he was going to lose Michael.” A fear Dix was beginning to understand for the first time.
Then tell him.
He’d gotten this far.
He took a breath. “I know that if something threatened you, I’d do the same thing.”
Doc stared at him, so still that Dix could barely register the rise and fall of his chest. “You…. You would?”
“In a heartbeat. You’re my responsibility, and I won’t ever shirk that.” Except that didn’t come close to expressing how he really felt.
Doc nibbled his bottom lip. “Oh. Yeah, of course.”