Page 30 of Wandering in Love
What the hell am I doing?
“If you don’t convince her to be yours, you’ll lose her forever.” That strange woman’s words from the bar filter through my head.
Having Eva home has turned me into a possessive asshole. I can’t think straight. I’m flying off the handle at the drop of a hat. I use fights with Will to control my temper, so I’m calm the rest of the time. I’m able to think things through before reacting to them, but not since she stepped back into town. All of a sudden, I’m a teenager with hormones raging and no control.
An hour later, the snow is really coming down. It’s damn near a white-out. Both deputies are in the office and we get the plow attached to the big diesel truck the station owns. Once the snow lets up, we’ll start plowing the roads and driveways.
The diesel gets started and sits idling in case we need to leave quickly, the plow on the front ensuring we can get where we need to go and can make sure medical can too. Standing in the window overlooking Main Street, a cold dread washes over me. Something bad is coming. My gut knows it.
My eyes take in every detail of the street beyond me. The way the snow falls, the lights in the shop windows, where cars are parked. Not much is moving out there. Things are quiet for now, but my adrenaline is humming. My body needs to move, but I have nothing to do.
I can’t stand still. Pacing in front of the window, watching, waiting.
“If you don’t convince her to be yours, you’ll lose her forever.”
It feels like the next second, yet it’s hours later when the phone rings in my office. In a matter of seconds, I’ve got the receiver in my hand.
“Sheriff.”
“Ian, it’s Eva.” Will’s voice comes over the line, calm but stressed. He’s worried. “We can’t find her.”
I don’t say anything. I just slam the phone down and grab my snow gear.
“Someone drive me out to my parents’ ranch!” I holler as I stomp out of the office, letting the door slam against the wall.
One of the boys runs after me but I don’t pay attention to who it is. Climbing into the passenger seat, I get my snow pants pulled on, then my jacket, beanie, and gloves.
By the time we get to the ranch, there’s about two feet of snow on the ground but I’m ready to go.
“I’ll walk. Turn around and head back.”
I’m out of the truck and climbing up the driveway when Will comes down on a horse, holding Bandit’s lead. Fuck.
“How long has he been back?” I ask Will while I pull myself up into the saddle on Bandit’s back.
“About twenty minutes. Johnny and Dad are already out looking. Mom’s prepping the house in case she needs medical.”
I nod and take off the way I saw Eva going when I left.
“Come on. Let’s find our girl,” I tell him, patting his neck.
The wind is biting at my cheeks and nose, but I ignore it. It’s nothing compared to the panic in my gut, the weight on my chest. She could easily die out here. When I saw her, she wasn’t wearing warm enough clothes to survive getting lost.
“Come on, take me to her,” I tell Bandit. “Where did you take her?”
I pull the reins toward a trail she liked as a girl, but Bandit fights me, wanting to go the other direction. Toward the pond.
“If you don’t convince her to be yours, you’ll lose her forever.”
With those words circling in my head, I tighten the reins on my determination. I won’t lose her.
“Alright, let’s go.” I let him lead the way and keep an eye out for anything that might be her.
If she fell off, she could have broken something and be hunkering under a tree for warmth. Hell, she could have cracked her head and passed out, lying in the middle of the snow.
The flakes are coming down so fast the tracks Bandit’s hooves left in the snow are damn near impossible to see. He takes me over a hill, then down toward the water line.
Every inch of snow is inspected by my gaze. Any indication there was a disturbance and I’ll be off and running.