Page 14 of Off Sides
Brent stops shoving food into his face to look at me. I have his attention now. “What kind of situation?” He eyes me with suspicion.
“Would you believe?—”
“No.”
“You didn’t even let me finish!” I bark back at him.
“You know exactly what you did, out with it.” He takes a drink of what looks like red Gatorade and gives me the hand motion to continue.
I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. “Okay, here it goes. I hooked up with a guy at a bar last night. This morning, I ran into him at the on-campus gym, and he’s a hockey player for Darby U. I told him to stop by if he felt the need. He did. We fucked around a bit, but it got weird and not the sexy kind of kinky weird.”
I really have Brent’s attention now. I don’t think he’s even blinking.
“He was obviously into it. I asked him about edging?—”
“Probably don’t need to know the specifics, dude.”
“—and he goes limp. Like he’s done.” I get up to pace my room again. “He says something about it being hard to get off, then he starts sucking my dick and runs.”
“To clarify, he did not get off?” Brent asks.
“Nope.” I run my hand through my hair. “I tell him to come back, let’s just hang out or whatever, watch a movie. Well, halfway through The Amazing Spider-Man, he’s hard. I get him off, it’s hot as fuck, we make out for, I don’t know, an hour or more? Then he leaves. On his way out, he says I’m different and that scares him.”
I hate this uncertainty. It makes me fucking edgy.
“What the hell does that mean? I should go make him talk to me, right?”
“Uh, no.” Brent scoffs like I’m a dumbass. “Sounds like he needs some space. You know, that thing you aren’t good at? Let the guy breathe.”
“Fuck you!” I snap. I’m so keyed up I can’t sit still. I need to do something.
Brent laughs. “Seriously. Sounds like the guy has some baggage, and you need to tread carefully, or you’ll scare him off. You aren’t exactly baggage-free yourself.”
“Fuck you, I let my baggage go.”
He nods but it’s sarcastic. “Yeah? You’ve dated a lot since Emma?”
The darkness that name brings is heavy but I’ve become a master at burying her memory in a box.
“I could convince him his baggage doesn’t matter,” I throw back.
“Yeah? Had a lot of deep convos in between the fucking and blowjobs? He trusts you enough to be vulnerable?”
“What the hell do you know about dating guys? You’ve never done it.”
He rolls his eyes. “People are people. Treat them with respect, you asshole.”
I drop my head back on my shoulders and groan. “I hate you.”
“Yeah, sure you do. When you’re getting laid by this guy you’re already obsessing over in less than a week, you can thank me.” The fucker hangs up on me, and I chuck my phone on the bed. What a little fuckhead.
4
Nick
Later that night, with a red plastic cup full of beer in my hand, I watch as the freshmen and sophomores who are still here for the winter interim run up and down the hallway of the jock building, screaming like banshees. Most students went home for the holidays already, but since not everyone can afford to fly home, there are always a few stragglers. I’m one of them. Plus, my parents’ house is full of kids. They don’t need another body in there or another mouth to feed.
I love my parents, they’re good people. They take in older foster kids that are hard to find placements for. They’re good kids usually, just misunderstood and abused. It’s hard to connect with them sometimes since they have walls up to protect themselves, but it’s always been worth the effort. Brent was once a foster kid in our house. He was with us for all our high school years, and since we got along so well, I shared a room with him. Mom and Dad never forced me to share my room since having the foster kids was their choice, but Brent and I were thick as thieves. He stayed in Washington for school while I got a full ride to Colorado, but I talk to him daily.