Page 25 of Off Sides

Nick makes a sound of disbelief, and it pulls me from the memory playing like a movie in my head.

“Why the fuck would anyone throw away the best part? Is she broken? What kind of trauma does that to a person?” Nick is so shocked by this that I laugh. He turns on me with wide eyes and indignation flaming his words. “That is a crime against humanity!”

“Dude, chill.” Johnson is looking at Nick like he’s crazy, which isn’t wrong.

Nick looks at me half crazed and shoves two fingers into his cinnamon roll like he did yesterday and scoops out the center. Our eyes lock as he shoves his fingers into his mouth and sucks the sweetness from his skin. A groan gets stuck in my throat, making a weird squeak sound instead.

“Uh, are you having a moment with your breakfast?” Oiler’s voice pulls my gaze from Nick. “Did you ask if it consented to public violation?”

I. Am. Horrified.

My eyes are wide and the blood drains from my face. I grab my tray and start to stand, but Nick puts his feet in my lap. The bastard is smiling like this is the funniest thing he’s ever seen while I’m trying to forget that I have a hard-on in the dining hall in front of my teammates. My knee starts bouncing, and the pressure around my ribs increases. I’m not ready for the team to know about this. While I don’t think they’ll care much, you never really know how someone is going to react.

“I really like cinnamon rolls.” Nick winks at Oiler, and Johnson snorts. “All warm and gooey and sweet.” Nick hums, and I have never wanted to punch him, but I do right now. He’s about to learn how violent hockey gets.

Oiler looks skeptical, but he’s eyeing the pastry like he’s considering it.

I can’t sit here anymore. Standing, I grab my tray, and Nick’s feet fall to the floor. He watches me with a lifted eyebrow and a smirk on his face. He thinks this is hilarious while I’m trying not to panic. Great.

I deal with my tray and leave the hall toward the dorms. It’s probably time for me to sleep in my own room. Why does that thought make my chest ache?

There’s a dull pain in my breastbone that I rub the heel of my hand against as I open the dorm building door.

“Hey!” With the door handle in my hand, I turn to see Nick jogging to catch up. Why does my heart hurt? That was a close call. I’m not ready for anyone to know yet. Fuck, I don’t even know if this is anything more than just sex while we’re here on break with nothing else to do.

We walk inside and wait for the elevator in silence, but it’s not comfortable, at least not for me. He’s watching me from the corner of his eye, so maybe he’s as uneasy as I am. The doors open and we step on, then I reach for the five button, but he grabs my wrist.

“We should talk,” he says, not giving anything away in those three words. Is that a we’re done talk or a let’s label this talk?

I nod and he pushes the three. When the doors close, he threads our fingers together and holds my hand. Slowly, I drag in a deep breath and let it out. Why does his touch soothe me like this? This can’t be bad, right? He wouldn’t be trying to comfort me if he wanted to end it, right?

When the doors open a minute later, he gives me the chance to pull away, but I don’t want to. Am I ready to tell everyone I’m sleeping with him? No, but right now, I need his comfort more than I need the secret.

He gives me a small smile and leads us to his room.

Once we’re safely inside alone, he turns to face me and wraps me in a tight hug. I breathe him in and relax in his hold. How did he know I needed this when I didn’t? Can he read me that well already?

“No one on the team knows you like men, right?” he says while keeping me tightly against him.

“No.”

“I’m sorry I pushed it.” Nick cups the back of my head and leans his forehead against mine. “That was a dick move, I’m sorry.”

I nod and press a light kiss to his lips.

“I don’t want this to stop,” he says against my lips. “It feels too important to let go.”

“I don’t either.”

Our breaths mix between us, and the warmth of our bodies surrounds us.

“I can wait until you’re ready.” Nick holds my gaze. “I’m not exactly out either, but I just don’t care. I’m not going to make an announcement to the team, but if someone sees me with a boyfriend, I’m not going to lie either. You know?”

“Yeah, I get that.” Some of the tension drains away. “I kind of like that. My sexuality isn’t an announcement, but I don’t think I want to hide who I’m with either. That’s shitty. But I don’t want the questions.”

“If you need to wait, it’s okay. I understand. You get to decide who knows and when.” Nick kisses me again. “But I don’t share.”

I smile. “I don’t share you.”