Page 28 of Off Sides
Bryce cocks his head with a confused expression on his face.
“And where are your shoes?”
“Oh, uh.” I look down at my feet, at my toes that are an angry shade of red that’s starting to turn purple. Oops. “I needed to cool down for a minute.”
He shrugs and holds the door open as I hobble toward him. The small pebbles on the concrete are like knives on the bottoms of my feet. I guess they aren’t quiet numb yet.
“Joey.” Nick bursts through the door of the stairs and makes a beeline for me. I quickly put my captain mask on. We both knew what this was when it started. We were just fooling around during the break and maybe a random hookup or two during the season when both of us had time and an itch to scratch.
“Hey, what’s up?” I shove my frozen fingers into my pockets and cringe as the rough fabric scratches my sensitive skin.
Bryce is standing by the elevator pretending like he isn’t listening, but he clearly is.
Nick grabs my arm and pulls me into the stairwell.
“Are you okay? My roommate is cool, he won’t say anything.”
“How do you know that?” I cross my arms over my chest like it’ll help protect me from my feelings. It’s laughable, really. I’m an adult, yet here I am, wishing things could be different. Life isn’t easy for me, it never has been, so why did I think this would be any different?
“Because he’s on the football team and is an underclassman trying to get to first string. If he causes problems, he won’t make it.”
I can’t meet Nick’s eyes despite how desperately I want him to hold me right now. But I can’t give in.
“Well, we knew this was a limited time thing anyway, so it’s fine.” I shrug and force myself to straighten my shoulders. I’m twenty-five, the captain of the Darby U hockey team, and a senior. I will deal with this head-on and stop running. “I’ll see you around, I guess.”
I push past him and hate myself for the hurt I see in his dark eyes and the droop of his shoulders. I can’t have the distraction of a relationship. There’s too many things at play here, and I need to focus on my responsibilities. Once I graduate, I have to make sure my siblings are taken care of, make sure Mom can retire eventually. I don’t have time for a boyfriend.
Doesn’t matter how safe he makes me feel. Or how seen. Doesn’t matter that he’s the first guy to give a shit about what I need and not make me seem like a freak.
My gut clenches as I hold back the emotions.
This is why I do meaningless hookups when the need gets to be too much. There’s nothing but lust and hopefully an orgasm or two before we part ways.
“Everything good?” Bryce gives me a chin lift and I nod.
“Yeah, no big deal.” I sigh and push the button for the fifth floor. “He wanted to check in on our dumbass freshman that got drunk a few nights ago.”
I catch Nick’s gaze through the glass in the stairwell door as the elevator closes and I hate how much I want to reach for him.
9
Nick
I’m numb as Joey walks away from me. What the fuck just happened?
He steps into the elevator and hits a button but as the doors close, his eyes find mine. My soft boy that just wants cuddles and attention is hidden behind the hockey player mask. That side of him isn’t mine. It never was.
The only part of him I got was the one he keeps locked in the dark. I guess even that is gone now.
Somehow, in two weeks, my feelings got involved, and he became more than a fuck. I told him we could be friends, but now I’m not so sure of that. If I see him with someone else, it might break me.
With a sigh, I run my hands through my hair and head back to my dorm, taking the stairs. The fear on Joey’s face when Neal caught us will forever be etched in my memory. I never want to see that look on my lover’s face. Ever. But especially while we’re in bed.
I find my way back to my room in a daze. If anyone spoke to me, I didn’t hear it or acknowledge it. Was there even anyone in the hallway?
Neal flicks his gaze to me for a second before looking back at his phone. “I see your winter break was more fun than mine.” He does something on the screen then huffs and puts the device down. “I got to see my sister have a baby then spent every day with her, the crying lump of flesh, and her obnoxious husband.”
I don’t know what to say but his sarcasm isn’t lost on me. Don’t tell anyone seems obvious, but he’s also not freaking out, so I kind of want to thank him for that…