Page 36 of What Love Can Do

He couldn’t believe he was saying it either. What did it mean? That she’d be hurting him when she left for Miami? That all the encouragement he’d been giving her was bullshit, and what he wanted most was for her to choose Green Valley, to choose him? “Look, I’m sorry. All I meant was, we’re no one to judge. If my mother made a choice, there was good reason for it, and that’s all anyone needs to know. Whatever happened to forgiveness?”

A lamppost behind her illuminated her silhouette, making her look like an angel—a quiet, stunned angel. Her hands slapped her sides, as though she had no answer for that.

He felt her frustration and helplessness in spades. It was suffocating him, the idea that he didn’t know what he wanted her to do. He just wanted her, and he couldn’t have her.

“Ah, what does it matter? She’s gone. Dead. Nobody has to worry about what Big, Bad Maggie Phillips did to anyone anymore. She’s gone.” To his shock, tears threatened to build up and spill, and he turned away from her to blink them back.

“I know, and…I feel the same way too. It’s not your problem what she did. It’s just that—augh—I have to keep hearing about it from my mom, from Avery Benson, even Cook and Mellie are starting to talk about it.”

He whirled back around to face her. “Do you have to listen? Can’t you ignore them? What are you saying, Lil, that you don’t know who to be loyal to?” He wasn’t sure why this was hurting him so much, why he was acting like a jealous boyfriend, except that maybe he’d grown to care for her more than he thought he had, despite his deepest efforts not to.

“I did ignore her! I just had a fight with her tonight, and it was because of you.”

“Me? So now I’m to blame for any trouble between you and your mam?”

“That’s not what I meant, Quinn. I just meant that I’m starting to stand up to her. I’m on your side, but I’m on theirs too. I guess…ugh, I guess I just feel trapped in the middle. My mom asked me not to see you anymore. She says you’re going to hurt me, leave me, same way your mom did. I don’t believe it, Quinn, but it makes this harder just the same.”

Quinn felt his blood starting to boil. What the fuck did Penny Parker know about him? Nothing. What a presumptuous woman to think she knew anything about him. To judge him just because she was bitter that his mam had left Ken Parker back in Green Valley for a new life in Ireland. The best man won, fair and square. “Sometimes, when you follow your heart, you hurt others. Tell your mam that.”

“Believe me, she already knows that, Quinn. And so do I.”

He stared at her, her expression filled with hopelessness, the same emotion that had invaded every pore in his body, making him feel weak and helpless, which wasn’t to be borne. “Ah, what does it matter?” His hands flew to his hips. He could feel his irrational, snotty self coming to the surface.

“What do you mean?” she asked, hurt blossoming on her face.

“You’re leaving, Lil. Whether I stay here or go back to Dublin, how can I hurt you if we’re not together?”

“Oh. So that’s it? That’s how it’s going to be? You get angry at me, that way you have a contrived reason to stay away from me? Good decision, Quinn.”

He simmered, wondering why he couldn’t just come clean and tell her how he felt—that he might be falling for her. No, that he had fallen. He was in love with her. “Lilly, I’m not the one confused by my feelings. You just said you felt torn—on one hand, there’s your mam and all her friends, and on the other—there’s me. I’m sorry you feel that way. I never meant to come between you and your well-established life. All I’ve cared about since I got here was being with you and making you happy. As happy as you’ve made me.”

“And you did. You have. I just…”

Just…but… Why did those words have to end everything she said? Was she listening to the bullshit about his mam on purpose, just to make it easier for herself? He understood family. He understood how important it was to have one’s parents’ complete respect, but his mam had at least given him the gift of freedom and choice without guilt, to go and choose. He just wished Lilly could experience the same with her mother.

“Listen, for whatever it’s worth,” he said, staring her in the eyes, reaching out for her hand. He shook it lightly for emphasis, so she would listen and listen good. “I didn’t know your dad, and I don’t know what went on between him and my mam. And guess what? I don’t care. It won’t change my feelings about you and me, Lil. I really care about you—a lot. And I was considering—foolishly, it seems—about possibly staying here for good. Paul was talking…he’s thinking of selling the pub…”

“And what? You’re going to buy it?”

Quinn stared at her expression for a long time. There was a touch of excitement mixed with fear in her eyes. Like it was all sinking in and getting real.

“Quinn? Are you really thinking of staying here?” she asked, twisting her eyebrows.

He hesitated. If she knew Quinn was considering staying in town, would she change her mind about her internship? Would she still go to Miami, but return to Green Valley afterward? His own selfish desires aside, he didn’t want to be responsible for her loss of flight. He wanted her to soar, to explore, and see the world. He wanted her to discover the options life had in store for her. Though he’d started to believe that Lilly was the perfect woman for him, he didn’t want to be responsible for her getting stuck in Green Valley.

That was her mother’s job.

But what about love, the other part of his brain scolded. What if together you can be happy, have a place in Green Valley, but also explore the world together?

The possibility sounded amazing, but he couldn’t forget the friction that had already been created between Lil and her mam because of Quinn. His mam had chosen love and lost her family as a result, and right now, the thought that he’d ever be the cause of Lilly having to make that same choice was too much for him to handle.

Besides, he wasn’t even sure what he wanted to do or how his brothers would affect his decisions, so he couldn’t let the possibility that he might stay here influence her one way or the other. “No, I don’t see why I should,” he said. “I thought I had something for me here in Forestville, but this is all turning out to be so complicated, Lil.” He felt the knot in his stomach grow tighter. “Say what you will about my mam, but when she met my dad, she knew. They knew. They had even more standing between them than we do—my mam’s engagement to your dad for one—but that didn’t stop her. She didn’t hesitate because of what others thought.” When she winced, he realized he’d landed a blow without meaning to. God, he had to get out of here before he said anything more to hurt her because that’s the last thing he wanted. He began walking away. “You and I are just on different paths, Lil. And it looks like neither one of us is willing to make the leap to get on the same one. That should tell us something right there. And I think what it’s telling us is to accept our time together here is coming to an end.”

Fourteen

She shouldn’t have said anything.

She’d dumped too much on him at once. Now he went and disappeared, and who knew where he was going? Turning around, Lilly stared down the path in the direction she’d come from and headed back to the Mulligan’s parking lot. However, she didn’t want to leave yet. Maybe if she waited long enough, Quinn would come back and talk to her like a civilized person instead of running away at the first sign of conflict. As it was, he’d pretty much dropped a bomb before running away. Yes, they were on different roads, and yes, neither one had made any kind of leap to get them both on the same one, but they’d only known each other a few days.