Page 145 of Love Unwritten
“So they still exist?”
He shakes his head in disbelief. “Did you go to school?”
“Of course.”
“Then didn’t your teacher tell you about the big comet that killed all the dinosaurs?”
“I thought they brought them back with mosquito blood and frog DNA,” she teases.
Nico drops his head back with a dramatic sigh, and Ellie cracks a smile. Despite my protests about her coming on this trip, I’m glad Nico insisted because I can’t imagine being here without her.
It takes a special person to raise other people’s children like their own. Nico’s mother doesn’t show the same amount of care and affection toward her son, and she gave birth to him, so I understand how special Ellie’s unconditional love truly is.
I’ve spent the last ten days witnessing it firsthand, but today is the first time I wish she shared a bit of the affection she has toward my son with me.
Is it pathetic to be jealous of my own kid? Probably, but I’m hitting all new lows lately, seeing as I spent part of our day trying to compete for Ellie’s attention like a child.
I’m not even sure when I went from being jealous of Ellie with Nico to being jealous of my son instead, but it is pitiful.
My attempts at stealing her attention continue long after our helicopter ride and into dinner.
“Papi, I’m full.” Nico pushes his plate away from him and pats his belly with a groan.
I blink away my thoughts. “What about your veggies?”
“I ate most of them, but I can’t take another bite.” He puffs his cheeks with air.
Most of his plate is cleared, but a few pieces of fish and his least favorite vegetable in the medley mix, broccoli, remain untouched. My eyes flick over to Ellie, who is finishing the last bite of her own food.
A normal man would let the staff take Nico’s plate away without thinking twice about it, but the idea of leaving food behind makes my own dinner crawl toward my throat.
Old habits die hard, and trauma seems to last forever.
“You did well.” I reach for his plate and place it on top of my empty one.
“Ew. That has my germs.”
My cheeks heat at the feeling of Ellie’s eyes on me, and I wonder what she is thinking. Is she disgusted by me eating my son’s leftovers? Or would she find me weak for being unable to overcome a fear that will never be a problem again, as long as I live?
My ex-wife despised my compulsive behavior once she discovered I wasn’t eating her leftover food because I was still hungry. It took her an impressively long amount of time to realize my habit, and only because it was harder to hide once Nico was born and I was eating whatever they both left behind.
Eventually, as Nico grew older, I became better at predicting how much food he would eat in a given meal, but vacations put the control back in the hands of the chefs who cook for us.
Funny how I have enough money to have Wagyu beef flown in from Japan and have it prepared by a private Michelin star chef for every meal for the rest of my life, but here I am, staring at Nico’s dinner plate like it could be my last.
I’ve never felt weaker than I do in this moment, knowing not only Nico but Ellie too will witness my embarrassment.
Ellie surprises me when she stabs her fork through one of the pieces of fish.
“Ellie! Not you too!” My son looks over at me with an exasperated look. “Tell her not to do that, Papi. Please.”
I’m too shocked to speak, let alone command Ellie to stop.
With a small smile, she pops the piece of fish into her mouth. “Delicious. Dare I say it tastes better with your germs on it.”
Nico looks absolutely horrified. “Yuck!”
My mouth falls open for a completely different reason, but words continue to escape me as Ellie reaches over again to take another piece of fish from Nico’s plate.