Page 149 of Love Unwritten
I yearn to hold his trembling hand in mine, but I remain seated, not wanting him to lose his nerve and shut me out.
“So, I changed little by little, that way no one became suspicious.”
“What do you mean you changed?”
“I didn’t want my aunt and uncle to worry about me, so I pretended I was getting better. That I wasn’t having nightmares about my parents or that I was no longer struggling to keep my dinner down because I was overeating.”
“How?” The question comes out a whisper.
“Some things were easy, like making an actual effort to have friends or focusing on the positives while ignoring every negative thing that happened to me, while other things were more difficult, like controlling my nightmares. I couldn’t do much about those, but I found that if I stuffed a blanket through the crack between the bottom of my bedroom door and the floor, and slept inside the closet, then no one could hear my cries.” His voice breaks, along with my self-control, as a tear slips down my cheek.
I brush it away quickly so he doesn’t notice. “I’m so sorry.”
“What are you apologizing for? It’s not like you did anything.”
“No, but that doesn’t make me any less sorry for what you’ve been through.” The temptation to curl up next to him and pull him into my arms becomes too great to ignore, so I follow that unraveling heartstring in my chest toward the one who keeps pulling on it.
“Scoot over.” I motion with my hands.
“Why?”
“I want to hug you.”
“This is becoming a habit for you.” He shoots me a look I serve right back. With an arched brow, he shuffles over a bit, hardly giving me much room at all.
Well played.
I snuggle up to his side and place my cheek against the spot right over his heart. The beats are strong, although a little faster than normal.
That makes me smile.
Rafael tucks my head underneath his chin and wraps his arms around me. “I didn’t tell you this so you would pity me.”
“It’s called empathy, but if you don’t want it…” I start to pull away, but his arms tighten around me instead.
“On second thought, let me share more tragic stories from my past. I’ve got plenty to pick from.”
I know he means it as a joke to lighten the mood, but my chest tightens.
I tap on the spot over his heart. “You don’t have to pretend to be okay with me.”
A crease appears between his brows. “I’m not—”
I press my finger against his mouth. “I’d rather you say nothing at all than lie to my face.”
His gaze drops to my hand, and I pull it away, noticing the tingle left behind from touching his lips.
“Thank you…for trusting me,” I say while ignoring the knot in my throat.
His bravery makes me want to open up to him too, although I’m not sure where to start. Telling the story behind my scars is never easy, but Rafael sharing parts of his past wasn’t either, so it’s only a matter of where to start with mine.
Fate seems to step in when Rafael brushes a hand over my hip, and I flinch.
“Sorry.” He removes his arms from around me and places them back on the cushion.
I make a decision then. It isn’t a hard one—not after he opened up to me the way he did—but it still makes me nervous. I’m never quite sure how people will react or what they will say, but I have a feeling Rafael will take the time to understand me.
I place his palm back before moving it over the raised skin. “My reaction wasn’t because of you.”