Page 197 of Love Unwritten

“Not gonna lie, when you said you wanted to move out here, I didn’t get it.”

I chuckle to myself. “It’s peaceful.”

“It’s also a major pain in the ass to get to, but yeah, you can say it’s peaceful too.”

I shrug. “Ellie and Nico like it.”

“Do you?” He asks me the question in the same way Ellie does, and it makes the hairs rise on the back of my neck. I’ve always had my suspicions about Julian catching on to my camouflaging, as Ellie would say, but I pushed them aside and convinced myself he hadn’t.

Perhaps that was a mistake. Julian has always been too smart for his own good, and I clearly underestimated him.

I nod. “Yeah. I like it. A lot.” I originally picked this property because I was tired of being too close to the town, but then I realized I loved the land.

He nods. “Good.”

“Why are you asking?” The question slips out, and he turns to face me.

“I know how you are.”

I fake a scoff. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He looks me up and down, noting the way I grip my beer in a chokehold. “If you want to stop talking about it, that’s fine.”

I suck in a big lungful of air. “I just…”

He shakes his head. “Listen. I’m not judging you or trying to give you a hard time. I just want you to know I’m glad that you’re finally making decisions that make you happy because you’ve spent far too much of your life prioritizing everyone else’s happiness over your own.”

He taps the neck of his bottle against mine in a toast, and to that, we drink.

After a few sips of courage, I speak up, knowing that if I don’t start opening up to Julian now, I never will.

If I want to be a good example for my son, I need to stop viewing the idea of expressing myself as a weakness and start seeing it for what it really is.

Strength.

I swallow back my nerves and speak. “I thought I was doing the right thing for a long time. Best intentions and all that.”

“That’s how it usually goes.”

I stare at the pond in the distance. “Seeking everyone else’s approval was addictive.”

“Why did you do it?” he asks without a hint of judgment.

I stare straight ahead while tapping my fingers against my kneecap. “Honestly?” I exhale loudly. “After I moved here, I was struggling.”

His gaze softens. “I remember.”

“Your parents… They were trying so damn hard to help me adjust, but it wasn’t working.”

“Healing takes time.”

“I know that now, but back then, I was scared they would get sick of me and all my bullshit.”

“Trauma isn’t bullshit, Rafa.”

“Says the golden child.”

He scoffs. “One of the main reasons I acted like that was because I didn’t want to take away attention from you.”