Page 9 of The Fast Lane
“Did you say city ordinance?”
She pulled a folded yellow sheet of paper from her pocket. It was the back end of one of those triplicate forms and right across the top it read, CITY OF TWO HARTS ORDINANCE VIOLATION.
“Twenty-five dollars a day in fines for a bench and some garden gnomes,” I read aloud. “But you’ve had this in your yard forever.”
Mrs. Ellis stroked the top of the bench. “My husband, may God rest his soul, made that bench for me in nineteen sixty-seven. I sit in it every evening to enjoy the sunset and visit with the neighbors.”
“This is ridiculous.”
Mrs. Ellis lowered herself onto the bench. “I talked to Peter Stone. He said the ordinance has been on the books for years and the council decided it was time to start enforcing it. Between you and me, I think he’s trying to make money for that football stadium, the rat bastard.”
Pressing my lips together, I nodded. Peter freaking Stone, Mayor of Himself-ville, population one.
A couple of high school-aged boys walked by and I roped them into helping move the bench to Mrs. Ellis’s backyard. After promising to come back soon to visit, I marched down the sidewalk. My walk took me past Two Harts High School. A large faded blue banner hung above the front entrance, which read:
Home of the Two Harts Blue Tarts: A-1 State Football Champions 1976.
Our high school was small, and it had been a long, long time since we’d made it past the playoffs in our division. Peter’s obsession with a new high school football stadium was plain…stupid.
Two Harts didn’t need a new stadium. We needed to put in a bit of hard work and grow some pride in our town. If we wanted to attract tourists, there were so many things we could do: a fireworks show on the Fourth of July, a Christmas parade, Easter egg hunts, movies in the park. Lean into the small-town quaintness of Two Harts. That would bring people here, not an overpriced football stadium.
I might not be able to fix an entire town, but Peter’s obsession was a problem I could tackle right now. A little payback was in order. In the name of Mrs. Ellis’s gnomes. A smile spread across my face as an idea began to form. I almost felt sorry for Peter.
I snorted. No, I didn’t. Not even a little bit.
FOUR
Note to self:
Become a more adult-like adult ASAP.
Tuesday, two and a half weeks before the wedding
“Less than three weeks now. Are you ready for darkness to descend upon you?” I asked, grinning at my oldest brother on the phone screen. Since moving to Portland, the only time I got to “see” him were the couple of times a week we talked on the phone.
He snickered. “Don’t talk about Mom like that.”
“Be nice.” Cal’s fiancée, Melanie, leaned against him to fit into the frame. “You know she means well. Her methods are a little…” Her voice trailed off, unsure how to best complete that sentence.
Cal and I laughed. Melanie was sweet and kind and stupidly in love with my brother. I liked her a lot, even if she’d been the one to encourage my brother to apply for a job two thousand miles away.
“You two are impossible.” Melanie rolled her eyes and then shoved Cal out of the frame. “I did want to ask you one more time…”
I sighed. “Melanie.”
“I just want to make sure you’re not going to be uncomfortable.” She squeezed her hands together under her chin. “I want everyone happy that day and I don’t want to have to worry about a screaming match between members of the wedding party.”
“I have never had a screaming match in my life,” I said, offended.
No need to waste that sort of energy when there are other ways to deal with someone.
“It’s not you I’m worried about doing the yelling,” Melanie muttered. “I know Alec?—”
“I’ll be fine, I promise.”
Here’s another thing about Melanie—she was Alec’s older sister. Yes, that Alec. In fact, Alec and I had been the ones to introduce her to Cal. And look at us now. Cal and Melanie were about to get married, and I’d gladly spend a lot of money to never be in the same room with Alec again. But I’ve been determined to be the bigger person. I could get through a couple of days of being around him and not cause trouble.
Probably.