Page 96 of The Fast Lane
“You’re a dad. It’s so weird to see. You’re good at it.”
Abe blew out a breath. “I don’t feel like it.”
“Then you’re faking it pretty good. The way you caught her puke in your hands the other day? That was a top-tier parent move. Impressive.”
Abe winced. “Let’s never mention it again.”
“It’s going in my Christmas letter.” I mimed writing with a pen in the air. “Saw Abe after eleven years. Surprise! He has a daughter, and he can catch vomit in his hands. He’s still single, ladies. Get on this.”
“Very funny.”
Smiling, I studied his profile, and a wave of emotions overwhelmed me. I fought back the strange urge to cry.
“Stop staring at me. It’s weird.”
“I’m really, really glad you’re here.”
He turned his head. “I’m really glad I’m here too.”
“Daddy,” Hallie yelled from the bathroom. “Daaaaadddddyyyy.”
Abe took a deep breath. “What’s wrong?”
“I pooped. Can you come help me wipe?”
I was still laughing when he opened the door and disappeared inside.
FORTY
Note to self:
Always lock the bathroom door.
(Or not.)
After Hallie and Abe left to find breakfast, I grabbed my change of clothes, shower bag, and headed for the bathroom. A shower would wake me up and I needed to wash off the lingering smell of 4a.m. karaoke and pie.
I pulled up a playlist on my phone and cranked the volume. As I was about to turn on the water, I was sure I’d heard something in the bedroom. I paused the music to listen, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Maybe Abe had forgotten something.
It was when I was in the middle of belting a song out while using the conditioner as a microphone when the bottle slipped and landed with a loud, ringing thump in the bathtub. I bent to pick it up just as the door to the bathroom flew open with so much force, it bounced against the wall. I screamed and dropped the bottle again.
“Alicia?”
Shoving wet hair from my face, I poked my head out from behind the shower curtain. “Theo?”
His whole body sagged. “Alicia. You scared me.”
“I scared you.” The nerve. I straightened, hearing my voice rise with each word. “You burst in on me while I was taking a shower. Why are you even in my room?”
Theo spun around to face the door. “Careful. The curtain’s slipping.”
I yanked it up. “Why are you in here?”
“Abe let me in. I know you didn’t get a lot of sleep, so I thought I’d bring you coffee and I heard a crash and thought you’d…” His voice trailed off.
“Had a seizure?” I wanted to scream. “Get out of here. Now.”
I finished the shower quickly and angrily. Yes, it turns out you can shower angrily. My loofah will never be the same and you know what else? I loved that loofah, and it was ruined now. Whose fault is that? I also applied body lotion angrily (good skin care should never be skipped, after all). I brushed my teeth angrily. I got dressed angrily. You get the picture. I. Was. Angry.