Page 96 of Nocte
No, not like Caspian. Out of duty, I lied and pretended to give him what he wanted. A price was paid.
There was another reason, though. The real reason. One I shy away from admitting, even in my own mind. Maybe I wanted him, this beautiful, wounded, broken soul. Maybe from the start, it was always him that I wanted…
“I don’t like your vapid little expression,” Altaris sniffs. “Whatever you are thinking—utterly disgusting. You shall repay me withlabor. My darlings are skittish when it comes to dealing with customers, and I cannot be in the shop at all times. You will work with Poppy in the main shop, starting tomorrow. Understood?”
I nod, even though I don’t understand at all. Main shop? A place to sell things? If so, he obviously isn’t selling well. His home is full to bursting with so many things.
“When can I see him?”
“Soon,” he snaps. “Our payment is agreed. You may stay. For now. I can shield you from the collective, but only for so long. As for the fae… They have no domain here, but I cannot shield you from them. Should they ask, I must deliver you to keep my own darlings safe. Understood?”
I nod. If they asked, but they won’t. They should be glad I am gone. Happy to be rid of me. Never will they have to look upon me and see their shame again.
“I understand,” I say. “Just help Caspian.”
“I will,” he replies. “Ah, Scythe,” he says, referring to the blue-haired man who silently enters the room alone. “I take it you squared our newest guest away?”
The man, Scythe, nods.
“I suppose you could see him now but be quiet and be patient. You will further damage his mind with your shouting and screaming.”
I nod, my throat tight. Then I stand and start to follow Scythe into another cramped, tiny room.
“Oh, and you will begin your work tomorrow. Nine sharp. I do not tolerate tardiness. Poppy will assist you and show you the ropes. You can be as loud and irritating as you want in the storefront but, in here, you will be silent and respectful of my tenants. I will make sure Poppy sends you something decent to wear. And you may wash up in the bathroom near your room. Now go, please.”
He waves me off and I follow Scythe, eagerly, impatiently. The need to see Caspian is all-encompassing. More than my wish to visit the mortal realm.
It was possible for me to die without achieving that wish. It would not have been my choice, but I could have.
There is no dying without seeing Caspian. I must see him, I must! Even if it means traipsing through a crowded hallway cluttered with beautiful, shining, porcelain things. He hoards things in the absence of a hive mind, this Altaris. He fills the rooms of his massive home full to bursting as if any ounce of empty space may make him remember…
What it is like to have an empty skull, apart from his master.
Poor Caspian. My sympathy for him only grows as Scythe silently leads me to a room past a winding staircase left partially ajar.
He sits on a bed draped in emerald sheets. The walls are colorful and vibrant: dark green leaves over black. Heavy black curtains shroud what must be two windows. A single lamp illuminates the space, hanging from the ceiling.
But Caspian stares blankly at the opposite wall. He sits and stares and wanders in the chaos of his mind.
I tiptoe toward him and sink to my knees beside him. I take his hand in mine and press it to my cheek. I whisper to him.
“Caspian.”
He doesn’t respond.
Maybe he will never respond.
Maybe he will never be the same again.
CHAPTER37
Niamh
Idon’t sleep. I watch over him, my Caspian. I hold his hand, speak to him, and tell him a million whispered things.
Things I have never told anyone. Things I had no one to tell them to.
He doesn’t react. Doesn’t respond. His red eyes blaze, still angry but vacant. Even empty, he is still so very angry. Raging with sorrow and utterly blank.