Page 31 of Broken Empire
Pain.
Broken.
Hopelessness….
Thoseare the only things my body and mind can comprehend asIlay here on this thin and uncomfortable bed.Ifucking hate this bed so much.
I’mso exhausted.Thethoughts in my mind have become such a burden thatI’mjust feeling drained, while wishing for something to give already.Idon’t know how much more of thisIcan take.Everyinch of my body hurts, hell it even fucking hurts to cry and that is not somethingIthoughtI’dever say.
ThisexistenceI’mcurrently living through is oneIdon’t want to endure.Iwish he’d just kill me already instead of the constant mindfuck and games he keeps playing with me.
Isilently ask theGodIno longer believe in whatIdid to deserve this fucking nightmare but of courseIdon’t get an answer.Idon’t thinkIhave it in me to live anymore and that just makes me sad as fuck.Idon’t know what to do anymore.Ijust want to get out of here, but what happens afterIdo?WillIeven be able to function like before?
Whenwill this fucking torture end?Ihave no idea how many days it’s been sinceI’darrived here, but it feels like a fucking lifetime already.Thedays all seem to blend together and the daily torture sessions don’t help me with keeping track either.
“Howdo you feel today?What’sthe level of pain you’re feeling?”Scarlettasks from her door.Itwist my head to look at her, still laying on my bed.
“Sameas yesterday, likeIwant to die and my pain level is like a million.Idon’t know.Everyfucking thing in my body hurts,”Isay through the tears thatIfinally let sound out of me.
“Don’ttalk like that.Youhave to survive through this.Youhave to live so that you can make sure this asshole pays,” she tells me with anger in her voice.Iknow she’s angry on my behalf for what this monster has been doing to me.
“Easyfor you to say, you haven’t been touched!”Isnap at her.Shedoesn’t respond for a moment andIinstantly feel bad for my outburst at her.She’sjust trying to be a friend andI’mover here acting like a bitch to her.
“Oh,I’vebeen touched a lot and it’s disgusting soIunderstand how you’re feeling.BelievemeIwas so mad at people for so long thatIalmost couldn’t recognize myself any longer.”
“I’mso sorry for saying that.Youdidn’t deserve that.Iabsolutely don’t want any of these assholes touching you.I’mjust irritable and being a bitch andIdidn’t mean to take it out on you.”
Ialready know what she went through before she ended up here and now,Ifeel like an asshole.Obviously,Idon’t want them hurting her like they’re doing to me.IwishIcould save us both butIfeel so fucking weak.
Weakfrom not eating properly and weak from not being able to save myself and her.I’mjust feeling pathetic andIhate it.
WillMasonbe happy ifIjust find a way to end it here?BecauseI’mnot sureI’mstrong enough to hold on for much longer.Ialready feel likeI’mone step away from insanity, from losing myself completely to the darkness that keeps beckoning me to join it.
“Youever have that feeling where you just know something big is about to happen?Likeyou know it’s the calm before the storm?” she asks andIlet out a hollow sounding laugh.
“If?I’vehad so many of those since moving back toRavenwoodit’s not even funny.Ijust wishIknew that all of that was leading up to this shit,”Imutter.
“Doyou think we’re ever going to make it out of here?” she asks with sadness filling her voice.
“Idon’t know, butIhope we do,”Itell her honestly, not wanting to give her any false hope in case we don’t actually make it out of here.
We’reinterrupted from speaking further when we hear footsteps coming down the corridor.Eventhough my entire body is in pain,Ipull myself up into a sitting position to see what’s going on.
Asecond later an older man in an ill-fitting expensive suit stops in front of the door whereScarlettis still sitting, looking down at her with an unreadable expression on his face.
“Haveyou had time to think about what you’ve done?” he asks a little angrily. “Becauseit’s time for you to begin facing your punishment now.”
“Justleave me alone asshole!Iwouldn’t have set your stupid club on fire if you didn’t have me there against my will!” she snaps at the man.
“Isee your solitary time alone didn’t teach you anything!Notto worry,Ihave all your punishments ready and waiting for you,” he says, smirking down at her.Thisguy kind of looks like he might be the boss or something soIdecide to butt in so thatScarlettdoesn’t have to face this asshole alone.
“Heyasshole!Whythe fuck amIin here?”Isnap at him and he takes his attention offScarlettto look over at me.
“Ah,MissWinterCrowne.Whythe fuck wouldIknow why you were here or not?WhateverAntoniodoes on his own time is his business.AllIreally care about is this little bitch here,” he growls.
I’mso confused right now.Geez,I’mabout to get another freaking headache thinking about all this shit. “Aren’tyou supposed to beRomansomething or the other?”
“Whythe fuck wouldIwant to be that fucking prick?Thatasshole is so full of himself that he doesn’t even know that his man is working with me or that he’s been throwing his name around,” the old man cackles which just makes him look insane.