Page 107 of Heartless
“This is family, man. If you can’t come to us, then who do you have?” Shep asks.
“You were screwing this girl while your wife was struggling with depression from her assault? No wonder your marriage was in such disrepair,” Cade says.
“I didn’t come over here tonight to be shitted on by you three. Shep, I’m surprised that you told on me. You were always the one to keep things close to your chest.”
“Until I see someone fucking up their life for no reason at all.”
“Look, I learned my lesson the hard way. That’s all in the past now, and MJ’s working on forgiving me. Besides, speaking of fucking up your lives, weren’t you doing the same thing until Mak came back to town?” I ask.
“Hey, I learned my lesson, and I was just trying to keep you from making the same mistake.”
“I love my wife, but at the time, as much as I wanted her, she didn’t want me. I didn’t know what to do. She pushed me away and let me know in every way possible that I wasn’t good enough for her.”
“So, this baby. How are you feeling about that?” Spencer asks before taking a sip of his beer.
Sighing, I say, “Man, I honestly couldn’t be happier. Knowing that I’ll be a father in a few months has me on cloud nine. We struggled for such a long time that I began to push the possibility out of my heart just so that I wouldn’t be disappointed if it didn’t happen. I psyched myself up by saying, ‘Maybe it’s a good thingif we don’t have a kid. I can still be free.’ It was fucked up, I know, but that was my coping mechanism.”
Chuckling, Cade says, “Listen to you. Coping mechanism, O? Guess counseling is doing you a world of good.”
Nodding, I reply, “We both still attend our individual sessions. I met with Dr. Ian and MJ with Claire, but we found a great couples counselor, as well. I wouldn’t recommend anyone handle things the way that I did, but I must admit, sometimes you got to go through some shit to appreciate what’s real and to grow.”
“Here, here!” Shep says, holding up his longneck beer bottle.
I lean forward along with Spencer, Ezra, and Cade, and we all clink our bottles to his.
***
“How are you feeling?” I ask Meadow later that night as I rub her back.
She’s lying comfortably on her side as she can no longer lie on her belly.
“Glad that you convinced me to go to dinner. It felt good being with the ladies again. They had a gazillion questions.”
“Same.”
“Did you know that Ezra and Morgan had eloped?” she asks, popping her head up from the pillow and looking at me over her shoulder.
“Not until tonight.”
“Yeah, they held that one close to the vest. Mak didn’t even know, and she knows everything.”
I laugh. “They had good reason, though.”
“Mm,” she moans as I rub a tight muscle in her shoulder.
“How are you feeling these days?”
She sighs softly and says, “Hopeful. Cautious. Pragmatic.”
“And about us?”
Her eyes flutter closed before she rolls onto her back and then sits up.
“I’ve been thinking long and hard about us. We have four months before the baby arrives, Onyx.”
I nod, holding my breath, praying that she’ll say the words that I need to hear.
Meadow was always a beautiful woman, but she’s even more beautiful now that she’s pregnant if that’s possible. Her skin glows, her eyes are bright, and she always seems to smile and float whenever she moves. The graceful dancer in her allows everything that she does to be done with ease.